Heather Hill

movin on up

2009-05-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

well... friends I think I created a new blog... ya know... with my husband..... and our life.... being married... ya get the idea... please follow me now on
married blog :)

LOOVER YOUUUU

Do what I gotta do.

2009-04-26T22:38:00.002-07:00

A lot of people have been asking me "how's married life treating ya?" Well I'm here to tell you as of 23 hundred hours it's not as fabulous as I always hoped it would be. Know why? I feel crazy in LOVE with a United States Marine. I have been married a little over a week and I only got to spend about four full days with my husband. I wish that I could just get out there and be with him right now, but I can't I guess it's a longer process then I expected. I would move out there and live in a box til we got set up. I just want to see that crazy marine husband of mine. I AM thankfully able to talk to him and that is nice to be able to have at least that. He's not deployed yet. Thank GOD. But that's going to be the hardest thing to do when that time comes.... thankfully that wont be for a while and I get to be with my husband for a good half a year before the dreaded day comes.
How's married life? I miss my husband. I know that I will be exercising a lot of patients over these next two years but I honest to god would not have had it any other way. I made the right decision and I want to sit on the same side of the booth with him in every restaurant I go to til forever. I want to hold hands and kiss like no one is watching in the middle of a crowded room til forever. I want to take all goofy jokes he makes about me and smile cause he is saying things cause he is in love with me back. He makes me so happy even when he is 700 miles away. I love my Marine and I'm proud to be his wife. I will do everything and anything to make this work and last and be happy and make him as happy as he can. Because HE is the strongest person I know and I know that he deserves all of what I can give him plus more. I'll only put mayo in his socks when I am really really mad at him. (hehe just kidding I'll probably never do that.)
On another note I'm working a butt load again and I will be saving up to move out there, and its my last week in my apartment. SO LONG NUMBER 12. Where its @ is moving to spanish fork til I can move to San Diego also known as the whales vagina! JK.
I also had kind of a going away party for me tonight with loads of ice cream. I was hoping more people could make it but the only ones who mattered where (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER) Abbie, Bethany, and Kayla. Those three are my favorites ever in the whole world and I am so so happy to have all of them in my life right now, especially when they snuggle me while my husband is away. Just to have a good friend that I can count on is so so meaningful. I can say I have never had a girl bestfriend in my life until now. LITTLE LATE GIRLS (hehe) I still love you all. Thanks for coming and I'll be back to visit after I move away. ONLY to come see you of course :)
I am very happy with my life and the people in it. I hope it can stay this way forever. And three days in David's case. ;)

Do what I gotta do by john legend. I love this mans voice and I am doing what I gotta do to be with my lover face.

Blue

2009-04-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

**If you have a weak stomach please don't read**
So today I feel like I'm blue in the face cause I been choking down pill after pill today. I am currently taking 4 pills a day, but it's the same pill so it only counts as one but the pill is bigger than my thumb nail. I have to choke it down with gallons of water and it still feels like it's stuck in my throat. (so LAME) If you are wondering why let me explain.
Saturday I was with my sexy hubby at his brother Scott's house watching the UFC fights and I noticed my jaw was a little tender and felt some bumps on the side of my face...well that's not good! I assumed that it was my Staph infection. I have had it since I was born and it comes back every once in a while either as a huge boil on my arm or surrounding area or a rash on my face with boil-y looking pimples. I texted my father that night asking for a medication called "bacterban" which is a gooey substance that you put on the rash and it'll get better shortly. It didn't get better if anything was getting worse and on top of that got the stomach flu. I was barfing and my jaw was swelling and getting more red by the second. My mom took me to instacare and the doctor says... well it ain't a Staph infection. ITS HERPES!!!! UGH grosss. It's just a coldsore that didn't know where to go. SUPERLAME. I found out the stuff I been using on my face actually made the herpes angry... we don't want to upset it. So he perscribed some pills that are huge that I take 4 times a day! My mom says it's looking better but I don't think it looks better it's just large and bubbly.
I told Dave that as soon as he leaves something bad will happen...needless tosay that has happened AGAIN! When he left the first time I slammed my finger in the car door NOW he left and I get herpes on my chin! UTARDED.
David I miss you and you probably shouldn't leave me any more! (jk I know I have no say in that.)

Blue by A perfect circle. I feel like I'm choking on these pills and going to turn blue.

White Wedding

2009-04-19T18:55:00.001-07:00

Yes it's true, I have chose to devote my life to this crazy kid named David Griggs. Which is my new name since thursday April 16th. I am so happy and it went so fast that it almost is crazy to say I have a husband. But I would NOT have it any other way I want to be with him the rest of my living life and 3 days after. I have an amazing new family that are so great to me and my David. The day went really fast and the judge I thought would be kind of a tard seemed really nice at the end of it. Dave said YES twice, hehe. Dave said that the judge started talking slower and he thought he was supposed to say yes after everything so he said YES really loud and we all kind of giggled. Then we kissed and headed to his parents house for some sammiches and family time. I know I know, NO one knew when I was going to get married and half of y'all weren't invited, I'm sorry we're going to probably do a reception this summer but we'll see what we can do. I would rather get my stuff together and move out there to be with him as soon as possible. But it's all in good time.
He left this morning around 6:30 ish. Kind of sad and my eyeballs betrayed me in leaking salty, wet tears, but give me a break this is my husband now. I am glad we got married and I would NOT have it any other way. I love my marine. :)

White wedding by billie idol. Well what did you expect me to put in here :)

Right Here

2009-04-15T02:10:00.000-07:00

I am currently waiting for my David to be in the 801 zip code. He's comin home and been driving all night (poor marine.) I can't wait to see him and I am so ver ver excited! YAY DAVEY I MISSED YOU SOO MUCH, I'll see ya soon!!!

Right here by staind and the song goes "you always find away to keep me right here waiting." I mean it in the best way possible cause that is all I can do is be patient with the marines and him :) Can't wait to see you!!!!

Closure.

2009-04-10T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today I am thinking back to about 9 months ago. I moved into the Winterhaven apartments, and met some really radical people. Starting with Erkle. This chick is my favorite ever. I never thought I would make a best friend out of a roommate. I would love to say and play with her next year but I'm gettin all hitched and stuff. So I'll make it a plan to come visit her as often as I can manage.
And also Becca, Denise, Chelsee, and Asumi.
Becca you've been the most real person I have ever known. Nothing is held back with you and I love and appreciate that so much. You always had something to say and I usually agreed. That's what cool NON mormons do! (what what)
Denise, well my BYU friend who has a T shirt from U of U now!! OHHHH. We still need to make it up to the PIE before I deploy to be with my marine :) I could count on you to be there.
Chelsee, GIRRRRL We had some good times in this crazy #12. I hope only the best for you and your life. This apartment would not have been the same without you.
Asumi thanks for your hard work and helping when no one else was. I appreciate it so much and you stuck it out all 9 months. I think we all did ver ver well.
It's crazy to think about but it's all over... and I just realized we don't have a picture of all of us together. I'm gonna have to make sure one gets taken before we all go on our seperate ways.
I hope to stay in contact with a few of you crazy retards I call my roommates. If I don't though, just know the time with y'all has changed my perspective on life greatly. I can honestly say that 6 crazy different ladies can come from 6 different houses and live in what I'd like to call "Peace?" or "pieces" whichever comes first :)
Another new item is...
I am indeed a blonde again. I have excuses for when I park stupidly or say something retarded. It's just the roots. :)
I am preparing to move back to my parents until I can be with my lover in San Diego. As I was cleaning I found my old journal and year books. I laughed REALLY hard when I found this.
That is Dave's 9th grade photo and the writing next to it says " David Griggs, man he got hot! I am going to marry him, just kidding he has a girlfriend and that SUCKS!!!" and I would like to let you know I wrote that back in March 6, 2006. AH Is that not the funniest thing or what! I really am marrying this kid after 3 years of wanting to! Kind of funny how life works out?
If you are wondering if he is going to be able to come home next week... truth is I dunno yet :( I was hoping for tonight but seeing how I'm already writing a blog, I will probably NOT post another one later tonight. If I get confirmation I will blog right away... I honestly hope I can just see my David. I miss him a lot of bits right now. (ps is it kind of strange that I could be married by this time next week!? I'm so excited to be with him, so I'll let y'all know.)

Closure by Chevelle I was just talking about moving out of my apartment. It's been a good 9 months and I learned a lot. But I take with me my experiences, and grow from them. Thanks ladies I couldn't have done it without ya!!

For a pessimist I'm pretty optomistic

2009-03-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am going to marry the man of my dreams. BE JEALOUS. So since I don't get to talk to him for about 2 weeks... I decided to write a blog about him (like I don't do that all the time anyways. This is different.) I want to tell everyone why he is perfect for me, and don't worry nothing too mushy... its semi-sweet. (Just how I like it)

Reason 1: This boy can make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. Not cause he tickles me or does stupid annoying things like that (ok sometimes he does do that kind of stuff) But it's not annoying to me in the least. He can just keep me laughing for hours and hours, and I miss that the most when he is gone. The marine corps puts him in a bad mood sometimes and I don't get to hear his laugh as much when it's been a shitty marine corps day. I do know how to get him to laugh back though, and THAT my friends is the reason he has kept me interested in his goofy self all these long years. Even when I just am texting him he will say something so funny that I can almost picture him saying it and laugh out loud to a text message. Yep, he is just that good.

Reason 2: I know most women LOOOVE to be romanced and all that girly stuff. I am not a traditional girl who needs flowers on her doorstep and I am pretty practical when it comes to things like this. Dave is SEMI sweet. He know's what to say to me to make me feel so special without being overboard with it. (EXAMPLE: you are the moon, the sun, the starlit sky. Without you I'd dwell in darkness.) DAVEY does not do this and I LOVE THIS ABOUT HIM. We are both pretty practical about things and we know we're in love, we don't need all the sweetness... just enough. =)

Reason 3: Ummmm have you SEEN my fiance. He's a hottie. The marine corps is NOT full of hot men with big massive weapons and guns and sexy tan bodies... no not at all. BUT Dave is smokin hot! I got lucky with this, I'd like him even if he gained 12.3 lbs. :) It's not all about looks but it's very nice to have a hot man in my life, so everyone can stare and be like "damn what's that crazy burnette chick doin with that hot marine?"

Reason 4: We like doing the same things. I cannot wait to go hiking and hit up Moab and go to all these fun places with him. We took the same German class and decided that one day we shall go to Germany to speak what little German we know to get us some German BIER!!! (that's German for BEER.) When in Germany YOU HAVE TO TRY BEER. It's only natural. We will also most likely go deep sea fishing while we are living in San Diego. I have been fishing before and I don't mind the fishing part as long as someone wants to bait my hook :D But I loath fish, they're to squishy and smell awful. I will not touch the fish, but knowing Dave he'll probably make me kiss it or something nasty and I'll get over it eventually.

Reason 5: We can literally talk about anything. I have known this boy for so long now, we have a lot of the same friends and have grown up living 3 blocks away for 6 years. He was in my ward so we can make fun of the old ward together. We hung out a lot and knew every person we ever dated other than eachother. And for some reason we always stayed friends, even when we broke up we would always still hang out as friends. (probably cause I still had a huge crush on the rascal, but I was too nervous to say anything to him about it.) The fact is that now that we know so much about each other, most topics are an open book. There are things I'm still getting to know about him and vice versa, but I will take the good with the bad.

Reason 6: We have similar taste in music. I blame David for most of this. I used to think that Dave was crazy for getting a tattoo of TOOL on his arm. It is his peragative though, who am I to judge what he does. He told me to listen to this song by Tool called the patient. I thought sure why not, I kind of have a huge crush on him so I will see what he likes them so much for. Anyways needless to say I am now a fan of them. Since then my taste in music has opened up to that style and I am a huge fan of APC. Which tool's lead singer is also in. Breaking Benjamin, Rob Zombie, Godsmack, and others like that we are both into. I'm just sayin next time Tool comes to concert I am going! Or A perfect circle, I'd go to them before Tool. Sorry Dave.

Reason 7: I like that we aren't the same at all. He likes nasty tang and zip Miracle whip and I love Mayo. It's kind of a joke I usually send him pictures of me flipping off the miracle whip now and he things he's going to put mayo in my socks one day. We just have these little inside jokes now. I love it.

Reason 8: He's pretty easy going. Doesn't get mad often and I honestly have never got into a fight with him. Which is good we don't have any reason to fight about anything. I know one day we'll get into a fight, but its nothing we can't calm down and talk about things later. I'm pretty easy going and I am fairly reasonable when it comes to things. There is always a compromise and picking battles is probably the key to anything. Why fight about something as stupid as what movie to get, or what carpet to put in or (i dunno what do old married couples fight about.) I just love that we're both pretty level headed that it should never be a problem with us.

Reason 9: We have some awesome families. I love his family and my family loves him. I can't speak for him but I'm pretty sure that he likes my family. If not me and my family are a package deal and he's just putting up with them for me. (I know that he likes me =D ) Both of our families are ver ver excited for us. Which is SOOOOOO good. I have dealt with past relationships that my parents don't like him and as you can tell... it didn't work out. AND with good reason.

Reason 10: He gets me. I am a total spaz at times, and he is too. I know he's just going to get wierder with the time spent with him, and I know I'll probably get crazier. (thanks mom) He know's that too, he's seen my mom first hand and we are both aware that I might get slightly crazy. He's just going to get frutier. I know this and expect him one day to push me out of bed cause I stole the blanket, Or I might really find mayo in my sock one day. I'll probably put mayo on his sammich one day just to spite him. :) We just can have fun with what we have to work with. We will just deal with out personal problems and make fun of eachother for it.

I could absolutly keep going and tell you everything I love about this kid right down to his eyelashes. I won't keep ranting though. I have a lot of inside jokes in a lot of these reasons that he will only understand and most might not. It's nice to think about these great memories that I had with him, and more to come soon.

Dave, wherever you might be right now. Know that you're on my mind and that's the way it'll be til forever and 3 days are up. Love you crazy tard nugget.

For a pessimist I'm pretty optomistic by paramore. I thought it was ironic. Like myself. :)

SAVE ME

2009-03-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

I am venting today. (because today offically sucks)
I absoulutly LOATH my job. People do NOT tip as well as they should which makes me upset and my tables can probably tell and that prolly takes away from my tip too. Seriously people have been leaving 10 percent or less unless their bill is under 20 then people leave like 20 percent but big deal 4 dollars per table that stay there for an hour and I work about 6 to 7 hours... lets just say it's not too fabulous to be a waitress in utah right now. I should be thankful that I even have a job and I am pretty grateful, but the way I make my money is with tips and people are not even being fair. It's miserable at work.
I miss him so much. It is positively miserable being without him at all. I am ready to go to Vegas and elope. Just so I can spend more time with him instead of being without him. I know for a fact that I can only be with him for the rest of my life because I have NEVER EVER been this upset about being away from anyone. Even with my own parents I don't get this feeling of empty aloneness. It literally breaks my heart just thinking that I don't get to fall asleep with him, or even not get to talk to him at night. (ps i'm sorry if you think i'm just being a whiny baby about this but I have literally never been so alone in my whole life, I love him. what can i say?) I know I'm being a baby and I know I can be tougher than this, I'll be ok, I just need to get out of my apartment..... which leads me to,
My roommates are all gone. Chelsee and Asumi are still home, but I haven't seen hide or hair of either of them. I am very very VERY alone. I miss erkle and denise and becca. I wish they would come home and play games with me and dance in the halls with me. I think that would help my mind not be so sad about my David being so far away.
I have a lot of bills and they're not getting paid because people aren't tipping me well at work. Which is not good because I might be getting married sooner rather than later and I need to pay for a ring and ... well I dunno what else we are going to be doing but. We will see.
Anyways my day sucked cause I had to work, and I have to go to work, I didn't get to talk to my Davey today, (not alot anyways and my hell do I miss this kid so much or what) I did get to see my future family in law for his older sisters birthday, which was nice to see them and talk wedding stuff. I went home and talked to my Mom, now I'm back in my most lonely of apartments. I have work tomorrow morning and double shift thursday. (BLAHHHHH)
Everyone needs a venting blog. I hope I didn't irritate those of you reading to death.

save me by alter bridge ... does this need an explination???

You and Me.

2009-03-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

I just got home from San Diego last night. I'll let ya know how my trip went.
Friday Morning, My grandma is late my mom wants to punch her. They were all going with me to the airport. I havn't flown since I was like 7 years old and I was a little intimidated by going through security. I got there and was just fine, I was on a standby pass to get out there. If you don't know what a standby pass is its you waiting to see if there is going to be a spot for you on the plane. It looked good about 20 minutes before they were boarding then all of a sudden they are looking for someone to transfer to a different plane. It got oversold and it didn't look like I was going to get on. I was in a panic. I didn't want to change flight but I would if I absolutly had to, not that I had a choice if this went badly. At the very last minute the lady called me forward and said "today is your lucky day miss, you better run its the very last one on the right outside." AHH I booked it in flip flops with two very full bags that didn't have wheels on them. I got there just in time and sat by a very nice man from Scotland. He was awesome and had the coolest accent EVER! He helped me with my bag and put it in for me. He was talking about Spanish Fork and I told him that's where I was from. It was cool to talk to him. I flew into Longbeach Airport. It was such a small airport which didn't intimidate me as badly. I turned on my phone and listened to my messages. Dave just had called me and said he was off work and showering and he would be there as soon as possible. I sat at the airport for a little less than an hour, until Dave's car pulled up. I got to see his base that day. I was informed that I better hope that no one important doesnt see me with a belt on. I could get banned from base if I dont have a belt on when I am in base. Apparently not having a belt is NOT proper civilian attiar. (haha ohh the marines) It was cool to see, I didn't expect it to be like an actual city but it was very cool. I met Dave's friend Paul Simpson (aka: pimpson.) We went and got a hotel which was very nice, in a city right outside of base called San Clemente. It was cute, and close by. After we got the hotel set up we went out to eat at a burger place which was pretty good. He asked what I wanted to do after I said I dont care we could go down to the beach or the hotel, he said, lets go to the beach. (I should have seen this one comin) We were down by the ocean and the tide came up a little higher than we both though and it got in his shoes, and his socks. HA I was laughing at him when he said I gotta check my shoes, he bent down, on one knee... and held my hands and said "Heather Hill, will you marry me?" AH YES PLEASE. I didn't see it comin, I mean I knew it was going to but I didn't think it would be just then. I said YES don't you worry and we sort of made out on the beach a lot lot lot. But I can do that now I have a fiance. We snuggled a lot while I was down there, Played on the beach. We ate at this really good restaurant at Dana Point. It's called Proud Mary's. If you are ever in the area go there, it's awesome. We drove out to Old Town. Walked around and bought some taffy for my aunt who is in love with it. We mostly just snuggled a lot. It was so awesome to get to be with him and the weekend went by way too fast. But I'm engaged now to this awesome man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Friend's I'll keep you updated on when a day might be. I'll find out maybe at the end of this month or the beginning of April,(I have to share my life with the marine corps for 2 and a half more years) and I am starting plans for a wedding. If you have any idea's that you think would be helpful PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE throw them at me I'm accepting of all ideas and I don't know what the heck I'm doing anyways. So let me know.

You and Me by Lifehouse, that's it You and Me davey forever plus 3 days.

Daydreamer.

2009-03-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

Today is a random post. Today I was daydreaming at work about how nice San Diego was going to be. I was day dreaming about hanging out with a boy all weekend long, and how nice it would be to fall asleep next to him... of course he would be on the floor and I will be in the bed. I daydreamed about having unlimited amounts of money, and what I would buy with it. I would buy a home, and stuff to put in it... and a new car, and cool things for my car like tint for the windows and make the muffler loud and cool like my car. I daydreamed about slapping someone in the face for being really stupid at work. I daydreamed about eating homemade bread with butter. I daydreamed how it would be so awesome to be a rockstar that toured the country. I would LOVE to get paid to travel. I daydreamed that I would pie my manager before I quit. I daydreamed that I would have no fear in my life, how it would be so nice to not be afraid of anything. I was mostly thinking about bugs. I think there is a bug in my room... I hope it dies before I find it so I won't be so grossed out. I daydream about clear perfect skin. How awesome would it be to just throw some blush on and eyeliner and mascara, I wish I had that luxury. I daydreamed about telling a few people off for how they treated me in the past. I daydreamed about falling asleep at a decent time, because I haven't fallen asleep earlier than 2 in the morning since Feb 16. I don't understand why myself actually.
I want everyone to know I only day dreamed of these things today. Mostlly while I was at work, but I wasn't all there at work today. I will try and go to bed earlier... with the help of sleeping aids. YAY

Daydreamer by Michael Kelsey
seriously check this guy out I LOVE his music. do it... do it.... do it!!!!

Fall For You.

2009-03-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

I would just like to inform everyone how incredibly awesome my life is. I couldn't be happier... well yeah I could. (if I had 100 billion dollars, and my david all to myself right now instead of the marine corps owning his soul. but lets be practical here.) I have an amazing family who is so supportive of anything I have or will do. I have some real good friends I work with and live with. I have a smokin hot boyfriend who I really really really really really really really really like. My whole family likes him too. And I was so happy today, it almost brought me to tears. (happy tears) Like wow, things all fit into place. It's a really nice feeling.
Also I want everyone to know MY BIRTHDAY is this sunday. So I will be another year older... I don't really care about my birthday lately, but it's my birthday and it's a pretty big freaking deal. I am turning twenty for goodness sakes. So yeah mark your calenders, set an alarm, whatever just remember me on my day of birth.

Fall for you by secondhand serenade. Mostly just talking about that dave kid.

Breaking the habit.

2009-02-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

I find myself much more lazy than I should be. I really need to be more active. Especially cause I am going to Moab this April and I want to be able to hike without getting tired and sore before everyone else. I absolutly LOVE hiking and seeing all this stuff but my body is in some horrible shape and gets very tired quickly. I do not want this to happen anymore. I am very excited for Moab. Its one of my favorite places, especially seeing the cool arches. Last time we went I didn't see Delicate Arch. I need to see that one this next time I go.
It is almost my birthday. Well actually I celebrate the whole month as my birthday, hehe but the 8th of march was the actual date of birth. I was premature and I was like the size of a magazine when I was born. I only weighed 4 and some odd ounces. I was a tiny little thing. Look at the big kid I am now :) I will be 20 years old, and no longer a teenager. Kind of crazy to think about that I have been alive for 20 years. I am gonna be thinking that again as soon as I turn 30. Woah that will be crazy. I am pretty excited though I enjoy having a family party like we always do. And my parents are going to take me out to dinner... YUM.
Another little thing I am excited about is flying to San Diego to see my David. It will probably be the weekend after my birthday, and I hope everything works out. I mean no one really know's cause his job is kind of unpredictable. But hopefully. Hope for the best expect the worse right?
Only a few more months til I can move out =D I know that's horrible of me to think cause this has been a fun experience and I like setting my own rules and doing things my own way and paying for myself. But I just want to go home now. I am so ready to hang out with my parents, who actually like me and help with keeping the house clean and doing stuff like that. They're pretty nice people, so I am excited.
Anyways I hope that I will be able to stay active, I will be working out at least 3 times a week ... at the least. I will break this habit :)

Breaking the habit by linkin park. I really like this band and pretty self explanitory

Weak and Powerless

2009-02-19T00:53:00.000-08:00

Tillin my own grave to keep me level. Jam another dragon down the hole.
So weak and powerless, over you.

I have been having trouble with my laptop lately, like it tries to block certain websites, like myspace. Except that I don't want it blocked. Well it is also trying to block hotmail and I have to check my email so I unblock it, NOW it is blocking my msn messenger. I can't figure out how to unblock that though. So currently do not have messenger. The only reason I use it is to talk to Dave and he has a phone now, so I won't worry too much, but still GRR it blows.
I saw confessions of a shopaholic tonight with Denise. I spilled popcorn on her, and MOVIES ARE EXPENSIVE. BLAH!!! I am just going to buy a movie for 15 bucks instead of watching it one time in a theater for like 8 or 9 bucks. What is the world coming to if movies one time are 8.75$ That's just craziness.
I never said what I got for valentines day. NOT that valentines day is really a big deal, personally I can show how much I love someone any day of the week, or month, or year. So it's just a waste of a holiday. HOWEVER, I got some gourmet pop corn from the grandparents, an Itunes card from my mother, which I plan on buying a movie with it. OH and a promise ring from David. It was a pretty good day. But like I said, that stuff could have happened any other day and it would have been just the same.
I really miss that boy. I feel like I am a broken record that keeps saying it over and over and over, but I feel so alone. The day he left I watched him drive away. It was the hardest thing I ever had to endure. It hurts my heart to just think about it. I miss talking to him, snuggles, kisses, etc. I know I gotta be strong and try not to let it affect me. But it is really hard, he is one of my best good friends, and while he was home it felt... good. NO not good, GREAT. Everything fit where it was supposed to and I have never been happier. Now that he is gone, that piece of me is missing and I don't feel whole anymore.
I hope I get to go out there soon like ... may or june... something around there. I really want to see him again soon.
I also realized that I don't have many girl friends. I am gonna go into UVU again soon, and get going on some financial aid junk, to get back into school for the fall semester. I am going to work all summer to save some cash, and when fall comes I will be a full time student again, with a part time job. Only 2 shifts or so a week. I am really looking forward to that and getting back into some sort of a structure for my life. Which I have been lacking in. When I don't have structure I just make bad decisions... something like that. I just miss school actually. YA I KNOW I am crazy. Back in high school I would start a countdown to school like a month and a half early. (hehe) YEAH I am slightly nerd like, but I'm good looking so it's ok.
Here is something you probably didn't know about me. I watch Shrek more than any other movie ever. I mostly watch Shrek when I am sad, upset, lonely, or just in some crummy mood. It makes me happy to watch. Dragon is my favorite of course. But I have been watching it once every night since monday. I think this will be a nightly ritual for a couple more weeks. We will see.

weak and powerless by APC. A perfect circle is one of my favorite bands, and this song sort of discribes how I am feeling lately.

wish you were here

2009-02-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

Dave left yesterday =(
It was a really sad day and i had to work that night which was really good cause I had something to do. I did go to lunch with Kayla, I called her sad. Then we went to the mall. I got off work really sad and i was leaking a little....well lot. And then it happened, I slammed my pointer finger in the car door... I pulled and it wouldn't come out I had to find my keys and unlock my car to get my finger out of the door. I was really really sad. It hurt. Now I have a cold.
It's offical this week sucks.

wish you were here by pink floyd
I wish david was here. I miss him :(

Making memories of us

2009-02-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU...

1. Did you date someone from your school? yes all sophomore year and all senior year with one person. 2 different people. I wish I would have dated more.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? Not yet.

3.Did you car pool to school? Sophomore year Zac would pick me up with Colby or Colby would pick me up. Until I got a boyfriend

4.What kind of car did you have? I have a 99 ford escort still :) I love jennifer.

5.What kind of car do you have now? Same one she's been a good lil car.

6. Its Saturday night now you're...... working...

7. It is Saturday night then you're..... homework, working or i had a boyfriend

8.What kind of job did you have in high school? I worked at Dominos Pizza. I loved working there

9. What kind of job do you do now? I'm a server at Brick Oven. Can't escape the pizza

10.Were you a party animal? ...yeah not really

11. Were you considered a flirt? YES i was

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? None. I tried not to go to school a lot... and i danced.

13.Were you a nerd? no I did everything in my power to not get strait A's

14.Did you get suspended or expelled? I got in school suspension one time. But the other kid deserved what he got.

15.Can you sing the fight song? um NOPE. I didn't have much school spirit.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Ms. Griffen. She is my idol.

17.Where did you sit during lunch? I never ate in the lunch room. I always went somewhere else

18.What was your school's full name? Spanish Fork High School

19.When did you graduate? 2007

20.What was your school mascot? The Dons. If you don't know what a don is.... well it's like Zorro so it's BAD ASS

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? YES, Life was so simple back then I would re do everything.

22.Did you have fun at Prom? haha from what I remember it was a grand ole time.

23.Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? Um... nope, it's complicated.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? YES i need to be the best looking there.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? YEAH!

26.School Colors? Red Grey and White

27.What celebrities came from your high school? umm... let me think ... ME

Now, I tag....

Megan, Sam, Janelle, Jon, Janna, Mari, Kristen, and BETHIE.

Making memories of us by Keith urban.
As much as I dislike country, this particular song really does bring back memories, some good some bad, but all in all they were memories I'll never forget.

So Close.

2009-02-13T18:23:00.000-08:00

I never expected to be where I am. Until I got here.
I am so happy with my life, and how everything is going in my world. All because of him. Well MOSTLY. I am very happy with how my life is... now just to get into school again. THIS FALL! I also would like everyone to know we as in our apartment passed cleaning checks. (thankyouverymuch) I would also like everyone to know the christmas tree is STILL UP!!! SOMEONE said it would be gone by thursday... well thursday has come and gone and its still here. :) I guess all I can do is smile and burn it down, but my room is clean and I am not leaving my window open in the winter time anymore. I get the sniffles :(
I need to start running again....
anyways David leaves this monday :( boo. So if you are my friend don't bring it up on monday I will still be sad. Just talk to me about other random things. Or buy me a cookie =D JUSSST KIDDDDDING.
Although Abbie DID share her cookie dough and it was AMAZING. Brickoven has cookies that are huge gynormous and they taste delicious, and they are now selling cookie dough. AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
I can't wait to move home with my mom. She for valentines day is going up to the utes basketball game. I hope that it isn't too snowy to drive up there, because my father took off to San Fran for the week to do some work up there, and my mom is all alone. (its her fault for only having one child) I still have gone to visit her the last couple of days. I don't want her to be too lonely. But for valentines she bought those tickets for her and my dad to go and then he said he was leaving and she was sad. My cousin MAK can go with but they can't if its too snowy to drive in. So I'm hoping for her happiness that she can go.
I love this kid... named david.

OK BYE

so close by jon mclaughlin. If you havn't heard this song you NEED TO. It kind of discribes how I feel like... riight, NOW.

Everything Changes

2009-02-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

Hello friends.
I have changed my blog again. When I am feeling like in a rut and my life needs a change I can usually change something very inconspicuous and small and be okay. Today it was my blog. I am proud to say I took that picture on my blog. It's just a trail my dogs made by running on it for a real long time. Anyways. I am still vur vur happy. I am planning on burning down my roommates fake tree in our apartment. (because it is still up. you would want to too) I am going home today.

Everything Changes by Staind. I love this band, and this song says a little something about how I changed everything up.

shadow of the day..

2009-02-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

Who hate's taxes? I hate taxes. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
I decided If I could have one super power I would want to read minds. I would like to know what people are really thinking when something is said to them. Or just anything at all. Maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid but I just wish I could read minds and figure out what people are really thinking. That's all

Shadow of the day by Linkin park. The shadow of the day is TAXES =(

Must have done something right

2009-02-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

Must have done something right by relient K
cause I must have to have got so lucky... oh hell that was cheesy!

Remember to breath

2009-01-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

DAVE IS HOME! AH it is awesome. I suppose I'll start at the beginning.
Tuesday seemed like a promising day enough riiight? Well I finished cleaning my room and headed out to go to my ONE YEAR mark free food lunch in for the BO. I was already anxious enough as it was cause he was coming home at 9 at night. I hardly ate then I get a phone call from DAVE. Naturally I am extatic I answer and he says HEYYYY I'm comin in at 6 instead of 9!!! ah YES PLEASE. I was more excited cause at the time it was like 3:30 when he called and that meant only 2 and a half hours instead of like 5 and a half. I rushed home... I dunno why. I just needed to do something with myself. I started laundry at my parents and rang sir jeffamus telling him how freaking amazing this news was and he was coming with me so I was just all around HAPPY. I found the airport all good and stuff. I AM 30 percent smarter since becoming a burnette. (hehe) Well I had to go around the stupid circle like 3 times cause I didnt know where to park and there is only one parking exit. (superweak) ANYWAYS I found it and JEFF got me lost saying the first terminal and junk. So then Mr griggs said I am at terminal dose. SO we had to figure out how to get to that terminal. WE found it and there were these obnoxiously SLOW people in front of me. ALL I WANTED WAS TO SEE MY DAVID. We started down the elevator and I SAW HIM. I wanted to jump off the elevator and run and tackle him. I didn't though I waited for the people in front of me to move their asses out of my way and I booked it to him! =D
I didn't take pictures, but I should have now that I think about it. It was kind of funny cause I practically ran him over trying to get a hug from him. (hehe) but all in all, we were so excited. Dave almost forgot Lord Jeffamus, I had to remind him... lol. NO BIG DEAL. I was just so happy to see him. I have never been a fan of public displays of affection, but I was all over this kid in the middle of an airport. Ya be jealous. I was so happy to have him home and snuggle! (I MISSED SNUGGLES FROM DAVE MOST OF ALL) We drove back to Spanish Fork, well Jeff and Jess drove us back to Spanish fork. I was too busy, snuggling...right right.
HA I still smile to myself thinking about it. Anyways we got to Dave's home cause we had to see his momma ya know? So we got there and his mom, Sue, sat there and stared at him for a second... she was in the other room and she was staring at him, guess she forgot who he was. 7 months is a real long time after all. She was real happy and they were making a welcome home sign for him but they were a bit behind on it, but they didn't know he was coming home early. NO BIG DEAL, nobody's perfect.

ANYWAYS I'm just real happy to have him home. And I hope that most of my friends can meet him while he is home.

remember to breath by dashboard confessional. I had to remind myself when I first saw him to do this.

Dont go away mad.

2009-01-25T02:39:00.000-08:00

So I am a talker. I enjoy talking about myself, things going on, things that bug me, things I love, ya get it. I love to talk about myself. I like to think I am a very excellent listener as well. And if asked I will give my honest opinion. As long as I can stay friendly with whomever I am speaking to. Well I have one friend who I sometimes worry about but love none the less. And She LOVES to complain. And I am trying to be a good friend and be patient and happy when she's happy and upset with whoever did her wrong. But CMON! It has been like two months and the conversation drags on. I just got tired of the constant complaints and try to bring up positive things, (example: I say well I love ya girl. and SHE says at least someone does) I mean WTF am I supposed to say to that!? I am so done that I just walk away now. NOW that i'm so close, waiting all this time and just SOOO close she cant even pretend to be happy for me. NOT ONE BIT. I mean why not I mean I listen to her sad stories and try to help in any way possible why cant she just give me this. When I do say stuff that makes me happy she usually says, can you not talk about that in front of me cause I dont have anyone to love me. I just ask her why she cant be happy for me. Just one time. I dont think I get a word in edge wise when I talk to her either. UGH. Maybe I'm just tired of listening to complaining so I have to myself but, I just had to get it off my chest. WELL 2 more days!!!

dont go away mad by motley crue. That song has my favorite saying in it. "don't go away mad, just go away" I dont know why I put it. BUUUUT maybe

I do

Light up the sky

2009-01-22T16:33:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I missed the inauguration. I am not too concerned about that though. I personally have no views on who should be president. I can only hope that Obama does good with the time that he is given. I think that is all that any president can do. I would have to make a list of things that I do believe in, but that would be too long. I do believe though that people should make a vow. Little things, like "recycling" etc. I do not have something that big... I vow to smile at people I see. Since I'm a good looking person when a good looking person smiles at you, you think "gosh they're nice" (if they aren't good looking you are just wondering 'what do they want? creepy') Besides the point. A smile I think goes a long way. People in good moods are much more fun to be around then people who are not so happy. That's my resolution first of all and my vow. As a person.
Back to the president. I just hope he does good for what has been laid before him.
Other exciting news I ...well I'm just in a good mood lately. No reasons just happy as a clam. (whatever that is supposed to mean)
If you do not know why...well then you haven't seen me nearly enough and should probably call me or something.

Light up the sky by yellowcard. I think of this title as big fireworks and i was putting it because of the inauguration

the kids aren't alright

2009-01-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

I worked at brickoven last night and got off around 12 ish.... talked to boyfriend for an hour or so after ... and just stayed up til 5 and went to American eagle. BLAH. I think that working at 6 in the morning should be considered illegal. And punishable by law. I havn't slept and I am so tired.
I found out something that I always SORT of knew but didn't really think it was that big of a deal... until today. I have OCD about stupid clothes and making things strait, even numbers, everything needs to be perfect. IM stupid. It took me from 6 in the morning to 1 in the afternoon to finish ONE table where half the others finished 3 in the time it took me to finish one. I couldn't just leave a stack of decently folded clothes alone. It was perfectly symmetrical, just right color coded and all back stocked properly. There were 9 stacks of t shirts that needed to be folded a certain way and have a size run of 3 in each stack. (3 extra smalls, 3 smalls, 3 mediums....get the picture?) Anyways I couldn't stop myself I tried to just hurry and throw shit together and finish it but... I stopped and re did the whole thing. It was a bloody nightmare for me. I have never been so anxious and nervous about something. It was a very strange feeling for me to have. I don't like it. I mean I knew that I was a bit obsessive about having things aligned and strait and even but I was just strait up out of control. People commented on it, they said the table looked great. I just felt slow, like mentally handicapped or something. OH well. No more floorsets for a while now I hope. I'm finally getting my hair re done back to a dark auburn and shorter... i like the short hair. SOOOO I'm keeping it like such.
P.S. I miss my mom and dad and my home and my big warm bed back in spanish fork sooo i'm off to visit... maybe fall asleep in my bed... for like... 20 minutes. Maybe visit the Griggs, ya know... just some normal sunday stuff.
Have a goooood sunday!!

the kids aren't alright by the offspring. I mostly just put that title because of how I was feeling.

six feet under the stars

2009-01-17T12:23:00.000-08:00

SO I didnt work last night, which was nice but I babysat. That girl is OFF THE WALL crazy but she was fun to have around. Everyone in my apartment kept asking if it was my little sister. hehe. Anyways When her momma came to pick her up Abbie had a sweet new tie on... with STARS! And she mentioned to me how I got MINE TOO. FINALLY after a year I think I deserve them. So go Me. I am a bad ass employee NOW. haha. That does remind me I need new black work pants....crud. Well I'm gonna work the hell out of this tie.
PS its now down to single digets little more than a week left!!!

Six feet under the stars by All time low. I only picked this song because it has the word stars in it. YAY.

Crappy Love Ballad

2009-01-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

Ok. So I know this sounds so cliche but HOW do you KNOW you are in LOVE with someone. Especially after ONLY a couple weeks. I don't see how there is ANY WAY that could happen. How can people get married after only knowing someone for a couple weeks. Let alone think about the L word. I have decided that LOVE is not a feeling, it's an ability. Love doesn't solve problems in a marriage, doesn't tie families together for all eternity. Love comes from other things. I was talking to this guy who I mostly think its just a TARD, but he made some very VERY good points about relationships. I cant remember all of the 5 points he made but I will give you the gist.
In a relationship you need social interaction, physical, and spiritual help. For example physical is obviously a LOT of things that no one really understood at first but i caught on. Love is physical, shelter is physical, caring, food, and like helping each other with house hold chores. Also Courtesy, I mean simple please and and thank you goes a long way. Spiritual I didn't quite understand where he was going with that... maybe you could figure out something for that? And Social interaction. It doesn't mean you have to go out with friends EVERY TIME. I mean you could just go the two of you and go to a movie... and I have a very strong belief in having your own friends that you can always go out and do something with.
And ya know what, if you can do all these things for one person for the rest of your life well good for you! I hope to accomplish all of this one day. I believe any relationship can work out. But why rush things. First of all if you jump in to the marriage boat too early, here are some questions you should ask your self
"what's he like around children" "how does he want to raise his/her children" What is he like when he is angy" "what is he like during normal hours of the day just at home hanging out" "What are his vices, and are they things that are going to irritate you" "whats his family like." There are so many things to ask yourself about this thing. Cause marriage isn't just some temporary thing (at least not for me, I want to be 100 percent sure before I accept anything.)
Also What is up with people who are all sorts of IN LOVE for about ... 20 seconds then move on to the next guy like they're going to get married. Like they have been engaged like 100 times since the day they turned 16? How does that even happen? Do you think they ever really loved anyone? Do they even love themselves? I guess I shouldn't worry about other people it was just something that I never understood. But I don't understand a lot about what people are capable of doing. Examples are killing, cheating, lieing, etc.
So the best I can do is be happy with what I am doing and hope for the best. I know what I feel and I will know when I am 100 percent ready.
I feel like I have grown up so much these last couple of months, to realize what a relationship is all about and what I could do to keep it in good shape. So far I think I'm doing a good job :)

Anyways, good luck to all of you with your relationships now and in the present. I hope that what I said has help show you just a smidgen of what I have learned

Crappy Love Ballad by Angels and Airwaves
I have just recently found this band and I really LOVE this song. You should check it OUT.

No other way

2009-01-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

I cant believe that my seven month wait is almost over. I AM SO EXCITED.. =)
Only 15 more days til i can actually see him... thats pretty awesome I would have to say.
Besides that nothing really new here... I am getting my hair re dyed this next week so I dont look like an angry red head. working all mornings no nights.. (except monday and saturday) its when I have made the most so i'll keep those...until my 3 weeks are up then I will change back my availability. AND I have been working out a lot more. So I hope that'll make the endorphins go so I will be more constantly happy instead of constantly UN happy. Cause no one likes a unhappy person.
This wednesday I am going with some friends to A real nice Italian place at the gateway. Then to see Bridewars. (ps I already seen it.. but I will go see it again) shhhhh. HA, sorry girls. Anyways.
I was thinking about how long ago 7 months was... and how quickly its gone by. All those months ago saying I'll wait. WOW cant believe I actually did it! (go me)
I would have it no other way though = )

No other way by Jack Johnson. I just really like this song.

Time wont let me go

2009-01-01T15:11:00.000-08:00

New Day, New year.
I never understood why people get all worked up over a new year, but I suppose its another day to have an excuse to drink and party. Anyways Pretty uneventful for me. I just worked and came home to hang out with my parents, and after the clock turned midnight we said hey... happy new year. Good NIGHT. But a new year is a good day for a FRESH START. I have a couple goals that I want to stick to, and we'll see how I do. I figure if I cant hold up in this first month well, there is no chance for it to happen the rest of the year! It takes 30 days to make a habit.
1- I will not say the word "HATE" anymore.
It's a strong word and I think not saying that word will help me stay positive.
2-If I buy something for myself I have to buy something for someone else.
I cant buy myself a new pair a jeans and someone else a pack of gum, it's gotta be of equal or greater value. Maybe this will stop my shopping habit for good.
3-Be active.
I don't want to be the fat girlfriend, or well fat at all! I need to stay active to do all the things that I want to do. I think it'll just keep me happy anyways.
4-No More SODA.
I was trying so hard to not drink it, but its a hard habit to break. Starting today NO MORE SODA EVER!
5-Be a better friend.
I just want to be a person that people can talk to about anything. I want to be a good listener and help out anyway that I can.
6-Be a better employee.
As much as I hate my job, it's good money for now and a good job for school. I will try and be better about not being hateful about being there. People are jerks I know this, I need to just get over it.
7- Be nicer in the morning times.
Its not everyone elses fault that I stayed up late and had to wake up early. I just need to be nicer to the people who just happen to be in my way.
8- Do something good for me.
Wether it is just a gym trip, manicure, facial, back massages, I need a stress reliever. I will get a gym pass and start going to a dance class once a month or something. I love it and I think that it will be the best thing for me.

Well that is all I got so far. I think that I could keep going but this is gonna be more than I can handle anyways.

Time wont let me go by The bravery. Time never stops it keeps going and you just gotta roll with it.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

2008-12-30T22:18:00.000-08:00

As most of you know I am a waitress at a place called the "B O" And let me tell you, being a waitress aint the free and easy money flow that you may think it is. Do not get me wrong it is better money then I could ask for right now. The restaurant is very flexable with my time I put in. But there are some things I have saccraficed.
MY WEEKENDS. If you think I have any sort of a social life, you are sorely mistaken. I am best friends with my work buddies, and if I am not at work I tend to talk about work. Sometimes It is fun to just have a laugh at there, but it literally follows me home EVERY NIGHT. I only am "BUSY" for two to three hours, and hopefully the people who sat in my section threw me a bone while I served them.
MY WARDROBE. Instead of buying cute clothes that I can wear on any normal day. I buy stuff for work. Like a little boys white collerd shirt pressed everyday of course. Black Dress Pants, Black non slip shoes with black socks black belt an ugly "ENJOY" apron and tie that I had to purchase myself. Not to mention that I have to have my hair UP and away from peoples food. Apparently hair in the food isnt a good thing.
If I take a week off of work for vacations or something. There goes a whole weeks worth of tips. I have to be there to make the money. I am rendered useless without time spent in brickoven.
I MAKE NOTHING IN A PAYCHECK. The managers usually hunt me down to give me my paycheck. I have realized it aint worth my time to go and pick it up anymore. The paycheck says "VOID" instead of a money ammount. Because brickoven only pays me 2.13 and by law I need to claim my tips and out of all the money I make brickoven takes the taxes out of my paycheck. I do not recieve a paycheck ever.
My faith in humanity severly has decreased. I cannot believe a LOT of people that go to brickoven. I understand it is a family restaurant, but cmon I need to pay my bills too! I am living off of what YOU tip me. When I do not get tipped my whole day slowly goes down hill. Which is what I am getting to. If you cannot afford at LEAST a 20% tip PLEASE ORDER TAKE OUT It is not fair to me, or any other server to do that to us. Because think about it, I have to tip out a busser and an expoditer. There are other restaurants that tip out more than just that. And everything that is said in this artical that I borrowed off of Abbie's page is SO SO TRUE.

"As America - and Utah - cinches the proverbial belt tighter this year and looks for ways to cut back, I have one helpful suggestion: If you can't afford to tip well, don't go out to eat in a restaurant with a server.
I fear that many labor under the illusion that food servers lead a singular life of luxuriously high wages because of the short-sighted arithmetic employed.
"What? Twenty percent of $70 is $14? I've only been here an hour and she has four tables! Plus, she's getting paid hourly! That's more than I make at a real job!"
WRONG!
Servers in Utah make $2.13 an hour. Not a typo. Two dollars and change. That sort of covers taxes. As a server, my paychecks were somewhere between $5 and $20.
Servers come in to an empty restaurant and stay behind in an empty restaurant long past the time you are there. They earn virtually nothing for most of the night while waiting for the dinner crowd to arrive, then work like crazy for a couple of hours, when hopefully, but not usually, their section will be full. After the rush is over, they clean and wait for patrons to leave and make very little money for the rest of the evening.
Servers share their tips with the bussers and bartenders [and sometimes expediters or hostesses] . This is usually a set percentage of their gross sales. You could safely assume that if you leave a 20 percent tip, your server actually is netting about a 15 percent tip. If you leave a 15 percent tip, your server is getting around 10 percent.
And finally, let's not forget the campers - hanging around and chatting for hours. If a server has four tables in his section, and you decide to hang out all night, you personally monopolized 25 percent of his earning potential. Did you leave extra? Didn't think so.
Times are tough. People need to conserve. I agree. Go ahead and conserve at upscale fast food or at home.
And finally, if you harbor under the ridiculous notion that being cheap is a virtue, shame on you."
By: Greg Rockwell

So next time you go out to eat. Think about these things.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by ACDC I do not think that this title needs an explination

Come Together

2008-12-26T12:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas has came and gone. I would say it was one of my better christmas's. I love being with my family, as much as they mostly drive me nutty to the point where I want to rip my hair out and eat it, I cant help but be happy and always lauging while they are around.
ON christmas eve I had to go to work (boo I am a slave to the grind) But it was actually so so busy! I made 100 bucks for a 5 hour shift!!! I was positivly shocked. I mean what kind of family tradition involves brickoven at Christmas time. It is beyond me. I actually saw some people that I used to go to elementary school with, which was a trip and a half. How crazy it seems when everyone grows up! I was busy beyond reason so I didnt get to talk much but all the same it was nice to see them. I came to my mommas house and opened my PJ's and they were UTES sweat pantsYES I am aware that this is not a picture of my Pj's but you get the idea. I woke up christmas morning because MY DOG was at my door and whining to go out. I guess he wanted to open his christmas presents
I gave my parental units some presents that I did not wrap, so I grabbed a box opened it and placed either half over what I was giving them. It was real nice they didn't have to unwrap anything, just lifted the box up! I went and visited the Griggs and gave them some See's Candy. Which by the way if you havnt had See's candy before YOU NEED TO TRY THEM! I will take you and buy a piece because it is soooo good! They gave me a movie, which I had never seen until today. I watched it with my mommaIt was better than I expected it to be, but I was just happy to see the Griggs. Sue is an awesome lady! The whole family is awesome, and to just see ONE of the Griggs is better than nothing. Well then I went to my grandpa John's house and we were all about to eat some good ole fashion dinner when MR GRIGGS himself called. The whole family got to talk to him... well a little, he was on speaker phone. I know his famliy (myself included) were sad to not get him on christmas, but He will be here in no time at all now! After dessert we drove home and went to bed. Which was awesome, cause I stayed up all night watching movies on MY NEW IPOD!!!! It is a 120gb and with all my music and movies it hasnt even made a dent in all the amounts of space left on there.
I hope everyone had a MERRY CHRISTMAS. Now it is time to be thinking of what to do for New Years, and some Resolutions!

Come together by the beatles. I figued everyone was coming together as families and stuff it seemd like an appropriate title.

Far away.

2008-12-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

I have decided Japan Land is TOO FAR AWAY!!!! @#$#@!@!@
its been 7 months and I miss that kid quite a bit.
I am very very anxious to see him!!! Check the countdown! not too much longer.

I work on the 24th which in short is Christmas eve. So here is how my week is gonna look.
Sunday- Wake up at 9 to meet grandparents for a day of shopping at 6 Im going to the hill family christmas party, and around 9 I am going to American Eagle to work til about 6 in the morning. BOO
Monday- Go to sleep around 6 and sleep til 2 and go to work at 4 until Close
Tuesday- Christmas shopping (a bit late dont you think?)
Wednesday- Family time until 3 then go to work at 4 til about 8 ish then drive back to spanish fork.
Thursday- CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!
Friday-Work night time
Saturday-Work more night times.

I am ready for christmas to be done and it hasnt even started. I am so so sick of the christmas music. I am sure that tonight the song "little drummer boy" played a dozen times. (at least) I was under the impression that if I worked Thanksgiving that I would automatically get christmas removed from the schedule. Apparently NOT. I am a little bummed because I didnt know that was how It was going to go. Anyways I am glad I asked for the 23rd off because I do have to go christmas shopping some time before christmas is over. Looks like i have a busy week and a busy day tomorrow mostly.

Far away by Nickleback. Totally Daves favorite band ;) bah NOT, but he told me this song reminded him of me... which ya I see where he was comin from on that. And AGREED it is too far away!

Belive me I'm lying

2008-12-16T22:45:00.000-08:00

Jeni Christmas tagged me! Yahoo!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Gift bags because they are easier to wrap. I end up with like 8 pieces of tape stuck in my hair and wrapping paper on everything but the box I am wrapping.

2. Real tree or Artificial?

Neither I would rather decorate a cactus

3. When do you put up the tree?

I would put it up the weekend before christmas

4. When do you take the tree down?

The night after christmas... too much clutter in the house, so it must come down

5. Do you like eggnog?

No thank you :)

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

All the barbies I ever recieved. I would play with them now if people would still play with me :)

7. Hardest person to buy for?

My father, he always says he wants something lame like pants... he gets gift cards because I dont want to buy the man clothing

8. Easiest person to buy for?

MYSELF :)

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

No, I could go to a church and see it.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

I do not believe in such rituals

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

A candle... I believe they know I have electricity, and if my apartment smells they should just tell me.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

How the grinch stole christmas with jim carrey

13. When do you start shopping?

When I see something that I think they would like

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

I might have but I dont remember exactly :(

15. Favorite thing to eat or drink at Christmas?

Mashed potatoes and gravey and turkey, and rolls, and hot chocolate.

16. Lights on the tree?

Yes I believe that would be appropriate.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Rudolph, or Frosty the snow man ... classico!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I have never traveled on christmas, I think I would prefer to stay home

19. Can you name all of Santa 's reindeer?

why... yes, yes I can.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

I would rather have a blinking star on top of my tree.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

ONE present christmas eve the rest in the morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

The people are all grumpy... I DISLIKE it a lot lot lot

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

I like balls on christmas trees

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

The usual, mashed potatoes, turkey, etc.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

anything or nothing, I could care less

Now, I tag Becca, Jon, and MEGAN STORYBOOK

Believe me I'm lying by Forever the Sickest kids. I thought it was funny and contradicting to what this blog was about :)

All the small things.

2008-12-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

I found out today... and this weekend, that I do have some really good friends that I didn't think I had. I thought all this time, I was the only one who had any compassion, and felt bad for people, and that I was the listener friend who wasn't allowed to have a bad day... to talk about anyways. With my current money situation, I am not financial stable as of right meow. Mostly with my stupid car but my friends I suppose thought it would be funny (and it was just a joke people) to start a Heather Fund (psh like I am a charaty case) But the thing is they really did... it was only a couple bucks... which added up to 50 but I was oh so grateful. I just wish I had a better way to say thank you to (brett, chris, steph, and nat) You all really shouldn't have but at the same time you have no idea how much this means to me. I am forever grateful, and I will always be there if you ever need anything! Love you guys! (as I wipe away a tear of happiness bahaha I have a LEAK dont judge me.)
Abbie and myself threw an awesome gingerbread house making party which was... awesome. I for some odd reason did not take pictures... how utterly UN CONVIENIENT! But of the gingerbread houses left here are some pictures to OOGLE at! I also picked up my guitar from my home and let Cara's husband play. He is really really good! I kind of suck and can only play like the intro to songs, or Johnny Cash songs. But I love to play it so I been pluckin away for the past couple hours. All in all I belive it was a successful brickoven party. Cause Abbie and I are the best party planners in the world... of brickoven.

MY GRAHAM CRACKER HUT
(on the beach)I'm not sure who did this lovely work of art... but good job!Um this is Stephanie's hey... she tried. And she is PRETTY!

She is here... dont judge her. haha OH and I love this girl because we both LOVE the UTES, but thats all today.

All the small things by Blink 182. I dont like them very much but this song makes me think of all the small things that do matter.

Stay where I can see you

2008-12-14T01:19:00.000-08:00

So, I dont think people realize how much it sucks to have a boyfriend who is not in the same zipcode let alone the same country, SOOooOOOooOOooOooOoo. Let me explain. When you hang out the burrito to taco ratio is usually one off... considering I am not interested, so they dont think to invite anyone to come hang out with me as well. So I would have to find some friend to take with me or something, but I DONT, because I am so dumb to think, this time it'll be different. See I think that its just going to be a big group together having some fun, but it isnt. Couples break off and I am left. So I end up being the third wheel, or the fifth wheel, or the seventh, wheel...so on and so forth. It makes me very lonely and very ... well just lonely. Even though there are people around, they are only talking in couples, not to everyone. I feel like this sucks. I mean, why can't people go out in groups and not couple up. especially if the burrito- taco ratio is not equal? I could care less, but it is nice to just have someone to talk to so you dont feel soo left out. Anyways about my day (oh you will just LOVE this) I stayed at home the other night to go early to get some spa treatment... which was to put it lightly AWESOME. I felt so relaxed and happy. Very comfortable. I had to drive fast... but carfully to home to get to work ontime. I worked for a few hours and made... like 10 bucks an hour. Then I hung out with some friends... and when I went back to my car... it was gone. :( Guess what that means!! yay for tow trucks!! (grrr) Meaning I am out a lot of money to pay my car's bail. On my own stupid fault. I was supposed to get grahm crackers for tomorrow but NOW I am left without a car. My friends took me home (thank you!) and NOW ... here I am stranded. I have always had my car it is like... my escape. When I get upset or I need space I drive. For hours and hours. I once drove to st george... just to turn right back around. I love my lil car! If you dont know the story behind my car check out my other blog right hurrrr. It's like my good day just went down the disposal because I parked too long ... (actually only a half hour over) So yeah if you are wondering how I am getting my car back. My bestfriend Brett Slade. (He is seriously the most coolest down to earth dude I ever met and I am so glad he is in my life because he has helped me out by keepin my head strait and driving me to this stupid place to pick up my car tomorrow) Anyways he is gonna get me tomorrow to get it for me... I owe him some home made cookies or something now.
BY THE WAY. I miss Dave +
Well that is my day, pretty crappy but I will get over it... and to pay my fine, i will be picking up more shifts at the B. O. Soo if you go to brickoven, I bet you 5 bucks you will seee me there... seriously bet me... I need the 5 bucks!!

stay where I can see you by the starting line. I really like this band, but mostly just the song. It kind of represents how I feel about... a certain... boy... who is not... here... right now... but he will be check the countdown PUNK!!!

Be my escape

2008-12-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

I am so in a good mood today. Which is odd because I worked a double shift at the B. O. BUT i made 140 bucks for all day... and i worked about 9 hours... so that is about 15 bucks an hour. Most the time if you are on a double you get put in early out sections and you get sent home early and you are there for like 4 hours and make like 30 bucks. So this is a really good day today. Now the only way it would get better is if Lance Corporal Griggs would get online so I could tell him I missed him today. I bet he knows, but it is nice to be reminded I hear. So I am going to sleepover at my moms house friday, which will be nice to sleep in a cozy bed instead of this hard as rock one. Then I am getting a facial that my momma is paying for. YAY. I have never had one so I hope it is nice and relaxing. I need a relaxing day so super excited.
I decided I need a hobby and since I loved my dance classes so much in school, I am going to find a dance team to join, I think that will help me keep motivated to work out and also I just love doing that stuff. I also need to go to UVU again here soon so I can figure out my financial situation so I can get back to school. I think that would be best. =)
I am sending some christmas presents to Japanland here shortly. Like this coming week. I hope he likes them... if not I bet he lies so that I feel good about it. Bahhahaha. JK.
Well I am sick and need sleep meow.

Be my escape. I just love relient K and that is what I have been listening to the past like 3 days? Anyways I just like this song. If you dont like relient K, well.. dont tell me

Back to good

2008-12-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

I had a loverly talk with Stanager the manager. I realized that work stays at work, and home I can just be at home. I need to not let things get to me. I know what happened, and everyone can just get over it. I am who I am and there aint nothing that I can do about that. Hate me if you want to and Love me if you can. I am super excited for January 27th to see mr griggs again. I have nothing to do tomorrow, but I bet I will start making a list of things to do starting with taking back my extremely LARGE t shirt I bought for work, I bought boys shirts last time, and they are XL and they dont fit quite well, but I realized that they are XL in KIDS. I got an XL in mens and ohhhh boy! NO offence but it is HUGE so im going to exchange it for an XS, and hopefully it will fit better. I am going to try and be a better employee and not get wrapped up in everyones drama anymore, I can be there as a friend for anyone, but I want no part in it. OH and NO MORE GOSSIP FOR ME. I will never say one more bad thing about people about work, I will not seek to find out what is going on with who, and I just dont want to know anymore. I am done stressing about all this dramarauma. I will go back to being oblivious and not wanting it any other way! OORAH!
Tomorrow should be a good en.

back to good by matchbox 20. Considering I am trying to restore my happiness factor back at work, I need to focus on getting back to good. hense the title

In my bloodstained sundays best

2008-12-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the brickoven Christmas partayyy!
Me, Abbie, and Chris (we're hott)

Congrats to Abbie for being employee of the year! (wootwoot) The Brickoven kindly rented out mirical bowl for us to bowl and eat food at. It was fun and i hate bowling but it was fun because its not like anyone really cared about who won. Which was awesome. I didnt win anything, but I wasnt concerned with that. I got to just relax and have some fun with people I actually like to be around. I went to AE after to say hi and show them my hairs! They loved it. I went home and played with my puppies and hung out with the parents. I would say today was a purty good day!

A walk through Hell by Say Anything. OK if you dont mind a bit of swearing Say Anything is one of my favorite bands EVER. This song is like totally awesome! You should check it out got it!?

Let It Die

2008-12-04T22:15:00.000-08:00

Do you ever think of me? You're so considerate...

Do you ever wonder is someone so immature that they cant even un focus their own little bubble to be considerate of others? I know I am not all girly, I dont like going clubbing, dancing whatever! But just to be asked would be nice. I would ask you to be nice. HELL I asked people I don't even like to the movies, regardless to the fact that they declined I still was nice enough to ASK. WTF is wrong with everyone lately. The drama is insane! The wispers are driving me crazy. I am so bugged with all these girls and boys its REDICULOUS!
Work sucked, and everyone knew it. I miss dave, I cant think strait. I wish he would just come home now! (yes please) I am so lonely, I mean hell it isnt like I NEED a best friend, but it would be convienient. Just to be able to talk to someone about anything and KNOW it wasnt going anywheLF,re. I have thought I have had best friends in the past, and they just turn out to be friends. I always read those "friend and a true friend" things. Like a friend would bail you out of jail, a true friend would be sitting next to you saying WE SHOWED HIM. (or something of that nature) I never realized how true it is. Except I dont have a best friend, so I can only compair the ones that are just friends. I wish I had a best friend, I think I should start taking applications, OH wait. I wouldn't get any.
Disregard everything I am saying. I am just having a pity-party. The only person invited is MYSELF so please dont take anything I say to heart, just had a bad day.

Let it die by the foo fighers. Foo Fighters, are EPIC. They have a killer drummer and I love all of their albums and songs and EVERYTHING. If you dont like foo fighers well F. U. haha jk but seriously

First one on the blog

2008-12-02T23:46:00.000-08:00

BETHANIE tagged me! bah great now i have to do this. Ok so I like doing these things... dont judge me.

8 TV Shows I Like....
1 - My name is earl. I absolutly love this show, its after the office and they usually have good meanings behind all the shows.
2- Family guy. HA HA what won't peter do!?
3- The simpsons Cmon Simpsons are classic! whoever doesnt like them must have something wrong with their lives.
4- South Park I know I just LOVE this show though
5- The office Pam and Jim FOREVER!!!
6- Rock of love I know its over and Brett Michaels will never be with some hot rocker chick but who doesnt love laughing at the girls on that show!
7- Best week ever I find watching this show gives me more than the news ever would, except the weather.
8- unwrapped It is on the food network all the time and they show how stuff is made and where and it is AWESOME!

8 Things I Did Yesterday...
1 - Went to work
2- Ate a sammich at brick oven with rich and his friend.
3- Tried to sleep all day
4- Talked to my mommy!
5- Picked up some item off my floor in my room. go me!
6- Started re reading harry potter #6
7- Watched Transformers
8- Wrote a blog

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To...
1- My mom and I are getting facials for christmas
2- For this month to be OVER (i am not a fan of crowds or people around christmas)
3- Dave to come HOME!
4- Showing my mom my hair.... (YIKES)
5- Hanging out with Simon on Friday
6- Present shopping for everyone else
7- Going snowboarding with Becca (hell ya!)
8- Gingerbread House Partayyy!!!! haayyyyy

8 Of My Favorite Restaurants...
1- La Casita. Mexican food is bomb
2- Ruby River, I love sex steak
3- The Pizza Factory. I just love the bread twists!
4- Cafe Rio Its just epic thats all
5- Rosa Marias Its in california and they have amazing burritos that are the size of my arm!
6- Wingers I just love the sticky fingers...mmmmmmm
7- Olive Garden. They have some yummy breadsticks tooo.
8- My Grandmas house. Christmas is coming up soon!

8 Things I Wish For...
1- Dave to get through the marines safe. I try not to worry about it but... kind of scary :(
2- Things to not go wrong in my life
3- Things to be easy
4- My family to be safe.
5- A dog, or a pet I just want something to cuddle!
6- For the month and a half to go FASTER
7- To have better friends
8- To make more at work

8 People I Tag...
JON
MEGAN storybook
Becca
Cara

Janna
BRE
Janelle
Squidvicious
Tanner

OK all done now. I did something some might say is CRAZY, but I am no longer blonde. As you can tell I have gone a shade of brown. I LOVE IT. If you have anything bad to say about it... dont say anything at all. Do not rain on my parade... well my hair. Thats all the news! I cant wait for our gingerbread house party!!! OORAH

First one on the blog by farewell. I LOVE FAREWELL mostly because there is a song with my name in it (hey heather by farewell if you are interested) They are really cool. I also like this song because it says blog. WHICH IS NEAT

You're gonna go far kid

2008-12-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

This is a poem being sent from a Marine to his Dad.
For those who take the time to read it, you'll see a letter from
him to his Dad at the bottom. It makes you truly thankful
for not only the Marines, but ALL of our troops.

THE MARINE

We all came together,
Both young and old
To fight for our freedom,
To stand and be bold.

In the midst of all evil,
We stand our ground,
And we protect our country
From all terror around.

Peace and not war,
Is what some people say.
But I'll give my life,
So you can live the American way.

I give you the right
To talk of your peace.
To stand in your groups,
and protest in our streets.

But still I fight on,
I don't bitch, I don't whine.
I'm just one of the people
Who is doing your time.

I'm harder than nails,
Stronger than any machine.
I'm the immortal soldier,
I'm a U.S. MARINE!

So stand in my shoes,
And leave from your home.
Fight for the people who hate you,
With the protests they've shown.

Fight for the stranger,
Fight for the young.
So they all may have,
The greatest freedom you've won.

Fight for the sick,
Fight for the poor.
Fight for the cripple,
Who lives next door.

But when your time comes,
Do what I've done.
For if you stand up for freedom,
You'll stand when the fight's done.

By: Corporal Aaron M. Gilbert, US Marine Corps
USS SAIPAN, PERSIAN GULF

March 23, 2003

Hey Dad,

Do me a favor and label this "The Marine" and send it to
everybody on your email list. Even leave this letter in it. I
want this rolling! all over the US; I want every home reading
it. Every eye seeing it. And every heart to feel it. So can you
please send this for me? I would but my email? time isn't that
long and I don't have much time anyway. You know what Dad?
I wondered what it would be like to truly understand what JFK
said in His inaugural speech.

"When the time comes to lay down my life for my country,
I do not cower from this responsibility. I welcome it."

Well, now I know. And I do. Dad, I welcome the opportunity
to do what I do. Even though I have left behind a beautiful
wife, and I will miss the birth of our first born child, I would
do it 70 times over to fight for the place that God has made
for my home.? I love you all and I miss you very much. I wish
I could be there! when Sandi has our baby, but tell her that I
love her, and Lord willing, I will be coming home soon. Give
Mom a great big hug from me and give one to yourself too.
Aaron

I found that on someone's myspace today, I thought it was a killer poem. Considering Boy is in the marines, I found the poem fitting to put on my page.
I need a back massage like no other. I think somone should want to do that for me... anyone? anyone at all? oh... shoot. I really do need one though I am so tired of work, and being stressed, just everything. I am getting my hair done tomorrow which is exciting, as you might see I have a poll where you guys could give me your imput on what I should do with my hair. Except the fact I am doing it tomorrow so if you dont vote today, well I'm gonna do what I want anyways. But I wanted more peoples opinion. I am slighly nervous about it. I hope it isnt un attractive. I bet it wont be.
I cannot wait to move home. UGH. I am sorry but I cannot take it anymore the bed sucks, the building is stupid, my room is small, the apartment is always messy, no one seems to give a damn, shit gets stolen, food goes missing. I am just done! I cannot wait for may so I can move home. I will then save a bunch of money go to school and buy a car. That sounds like a good idea. Having a curfew is not such a bad thing. It kept me out of stuff I probably shouldnt be doing anyways, like staying up late! HA HA sounds obvous right?
HEY if you dont already know I have a second blog. Check it out here!
HAHA I got a lot of people laughing today. (which is probably my favorite thing in the world to do, but its from this comedian called Mitch Hedberg. This is my favorite one... check it out. He is hilarous! If you like him check out his other stuff.
ahh time for bed

your gonna go far kid by the offspring
I was listening to the radio and I liked this one but I wasnt listening to who sings it so I tried to find it on google and I could not. I kept typing in the lyrics I thought they were saying, but I found it eventually!

Pace Yourself

2008-11-25T23:42:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty good, eh didn't really do much to say anything about. If you read my other blog you kind of know what has been on my mind lately. I have been thinking of things I need to change in myself. And I planning a new years resolution. (I know what you are thinking, No one ever sticks to those) I am hoping that I can this time. NOT hoping I AM GOING TO. I will do this. I also have been thinking that I loved when I had my dance class, I think I am going to find a dance company or something I can go to once a week, make me excited for a tuesday or wednesday or something like that. YEP I will be looking into that this coming up month. I have also been thinking, I cannot belive that I havnt seen Griggs since July, and I cant belive that this year is almost over. I cant wait to see him either. YAY. I kind of miss that kid. a lot. I sometimes read through old things we talked about to just remember him. Its kind of silly but when you dont talk for days upon days, its nice to look back and think about when we could just talk. I am still waiting and plan on keeping it that way. I need to for me. I know that it sucks going this whole long time without him, gosh cant i get a boyfriend who is in the same zip code or even the same continent. I am so proud of what he does though, so I forgive him for leaving me for a hell of a long time! haha Like it would matter if I didnt. Well I miss him. Work is going to be not so fun working a triple shift (B O double then to AE) then thanksgiving then AE at 6 am to 11 then to brick oven for another double. YUCK. haha well good money I hope :D

Pace Yourself by the higher, I am trying to focus on so many things at once that I think I need to pace myself in doing so because change doesnt happen over night. I'll keep you posted.

Down

2008-11-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today sucked. I have no further explinations except that I want today to be over. RIGHT MEOW.

Down by Blink 182
they're an alright band I guess, but this is the only song I like from them.

The skin I'm In

2008-11-19T02:33:00.000-08:00

Today I have decided on my tattoo. YES I want this ink on my body the rest of my life. It will be on my inner right ankle/foot. I will have a saying going accross the side of my foot saying "ádh mór ort" The meaning of this saying is Good Luck in Irish. I will be putting a small shamrock at the inner ankle which I want to look something like this picture. Somthing similar. It is really really cool looking dont you agree? If you dont... well I dont really care. I like it. It is perfect for me, it will remind me that my life is going to hand me cards, and it is going to be luck on my side I can only hope for good luck. I think I am a pretty lucky girl right about now though :) The expected date for this tattoo will be some time in december, hopfully the week or so before christmas but I am going to have to do it on a friday or saturday, so I have sunday to let the scabbing. It is going to HURT if I have to work on my feet with this right after it gets done... OUCH. My room mate Becca and I will decide because we are getting tattoos together. I am quite excited. YAY.

The skin I'm in by Gavin Rossdale. Gavin has an incredible voice. I could listen to his cd's all night long and fall asleep to his sweet raspy voice!

Rumors

2008-11-17T22:59:00.001-08:00

This is me and Amanda-lyn my married best friend, and this was before going to kylis wedding.

I am - Happy from a good day of working =)

I want - Febuary to come faster! I miss him

I hear - My room mates talking ... that is all

I never - believe things people tell me, I take everyones excuses as a lie to get out of doing anything

I wonder - If I play the guitar more that lyrics will just come to me?

I always - work, sleep, and eat.

I usually - have a very short temper, say something wrong and watch your head get bitten off :)

I search - for meaning in life, religion, and basically everything I do, I search for the reason why.

I am not - as girly as you might think, I am a metalhead, I dont cry, and I am basically one of the boys because I cant stand the estrogin for more then an hour a day!

I dance - as much as I can, I LOVE doing hip hop dances, and lyrical.

I sing - alone in my car, people probably stare at me and think I am crazy!

I wish - I would live happily ever after, but that doesnt exist... so I wish for a old 65 fast back mustang for christmas cherry red!

I dislike - girls who act all like "OMG i broke a NAIL" And people who dont clean up after themselves

I rarely - think about my own needs

I cry -ed when my dog had to be put down, I had that pup for 10 years, which is a long time in dog years.

I am not always - nice, when people first meet me they think (B*TCH) but I just says it how I sees it and no one quite gets that in utah valley

I lose - my temper quickly... its a bad habit

I fear - that I will be the crazy cat lady one day! :( Please dont let that happen to me friends.

I'm confused - when it comes to women, if they said what was on their mind, there would be no confusion.

I need - MOOORE MONEY!!! I just like the smell of it

I should - Clean my room, and write david a letter....I MISS HIM

I dream - of living in a world of acceptance, that wont happen ever!

I have - my whole life ahead of me, what to do what to do?

I love -my family! they are so much fun and I miss haning out with them when I have to work :( boo

**I tag anybody who wants to do this. It was pretty fun.**

HA now that that is done, I had an excellent day today at work and made a butt-load of moneys!!! YAY. I realized I have some great friends today, and some great people I work with. I enjoy my job, but not enough to keep being happy about it all the time. My days are pickin up again. I think I have been crummy like all week because I hate the weather, SERIOUSLY folks when It is gloomy out side that is when I get depressed, good thing there is tanning so I can get my happy rays! It is basically like my drug and I can get my fix off of tanning and I will be good for a week. ANYWAYS. No contact from marine for a week (fetch this sucks) I do miss him a lot and I hope he knows that. He should have my letters I sent to him by now. I wonder if he is doing ok? I am wondering where he is though, sad day for that. I have decided I dislike all people who judge anyone before knowing people. I have to go to work tomorrow, so I am hittin the hay! Which is for horses. haha NIGHT

rumors by waking ashland. I like this band and I figured it tied into the mini schpill on my life that I wrote, check out waking ashland!!

I get it.

2008-11-11T22:25:00.001-08:00

sorry I forgot you were perfect. My bad My bad.

why do people make fun of other people, or put them down? why do they think that will help. I apologies I have sinned. I am going to be better and NOT talk about people anymore. I am DONE. I have no reason to even talk about anyone behind their back. YA some people may be damn annoying and all you want to do is punch them in the FACE, but since you cant or you shouldnt, you talk about them, "like oh my gosh he is such a creeper" or "i cannot believe she would do that." I am done being that girl that you know is gonna drop gossip at a drop of a hatch. YA I know I have already YA YA YA, but those who have not sinned cast the first stone.
I have no reason why I have been so moody, grumpy, bitchy, whatever word you would like to use....but it is stopping RIGHT NOW.
I need to focus on the positive of everything, AND everyone.

Today was a good day, I went to Dave's parents house and hung out for like an hour or so. His family is so cool. They are so chill and just a very friendly bunch to be around. I like them.I showed them the present Davie sent me from JAPLAND. I could marry into that...haha um.. yeah I dont see that happening right now, but WHO KNOWS. Like in my last post WHO KNOWS!

I get it by chevelle, I am pretty sure this song is kind of sarcastic when you listen to it. Basically it is a whatever song and ya ya I get it your perfect what was I thinking kind of song.

It isnt me

2008-11-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

If you have noticed this glazed over look in my eyes lately. It is because I have been thinking. (thinking is not one of my strong points.) I just dont know how my life is going to end up. I hate thinking that one day Im going to marry the man of my dreams and live happily ever after, but I dont think life works out that way. Look at my parents, accidental child divorced a year later but still happyily together (life partners they call it) But there are others that are married for 10 years or so and they are divorced. How does this happen? I need to know that a couple can be together forever. Yes there are going to be differences, but how do you surpass that? How do you just get over differences. I, I wish I understood. I know I have a marine, and I L word him, I wouldnt be waiting if I didnt. But what if we grow apart... I cant stop thinking about all these silly little things. I need something to focus on so I can just stop worring. I cannot wait to start school again. I bet you it will be great to be back in school. I just wish I could have afforded it while I was moved out. I am just having one of those moments on ... where is my life going and what if it doesnt go how I wish it to go? Seriously who knows what is GOING to happen, but I want there to be some security in my choices for the rest of my life. I have no control right now and it is kinda freaking me out. I need some security and happiness. I want my mom.

It isnt me by The Color Fred
The color fred started with one of the guitarists from taking back sunday. They're a pretty cool band and you should check them out. It isnt me to be like all wierd and wondering about the future, I usually live day to day, but I have this fairy tale thing that I think about for the future then I realize I have no control over what will happen. It isnt me.

The Patient

2008-11-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

So I was having a wonderful day today and I was pretty pumped for work (friday is big money BIIIIIG money!) I was hopin for one awesome section (like I normally do) and I get a butt hole of a section. Which bummed me out a little bit, but my boss MANAGER 1 commented on my shirt because I bleached it out and did a crease of success. (which is a good thing for him to notice, because I want My STARS) So he said "keep it up and next time you will get your stars." I asked when that would be he said "well it could have been today but some people think your uniform isnt up to par, so keep it up. In other words MANAGER 1 brought my name up and a certain someone (manager 2) rejected it. So no stars for me. Manager 2 was just NIT PICKING. He says my pants are not black enough and he is the ONLY one saying it. Everyone else doesn't have a problem with me. And he just keeps making up these stupid lame excuses like I am not wearing blush, or enough make up, my pants are not black enough (which they are) And he just keeps fighting it. So what HE wants me to do is pay another 40 bucks to get new pants and keep up this stupid shirt and crease of success for like a month and maybe he'll throw me a bone. BUT I highly doubt that. For some reason MANAGER 2 doesnt want me to have my stars and I am so over it that I just could care less. If there is no pleasing him then why fight with him about it anymore. If he doesnt want to play fair then I will just continue doing what I am doing (aka a great job) and he can just be a bitch about it. I am done with my uniform it is up to par with all the other managers, so OH WELL.
In other news I got my late stay shift on thursday again. Thursdays are pretty busy (for the most part) So I am hopin to make some good money.
I wish I could move home, but it would cost a lot to try and put my contract up again. I am just going to have to wait it out, but I miss my mom and dad. I think that I might go hang out with them tomorrow night if they aren't doing anything special. Maybe bribe them and tell them I am going to pick up their cafe rio or something silly. Parents like when you do stuff like that. I do miss my mom a lot. Especialy as of late. I count on her to remind me to tie my shoes, I am surprised I havnt lost my head, except it is attached. I should probably try and organize my life, but it gets to hard to keep it organized. I like my life of chaos. (haha ok not soo much) I should probably work on that more.
I have a new work out buddy. JON! He really likes weight training and jazz like that and I need someone to keep me motivated. And he is a really good kid so I am hoping that he will help me. ALSO since we are going to be working out in the mornings at like 730 and schtuff like that, it should help motivate me to go to bed earlier, and maybe even eat breakfast. ( I was told that I have to) I'll keep ya updated on that. I start MONDAY!

the patient by tool
Tool is by far the most poetic bands out there. They literally kick the shit out of every band known to mankind. You should listen to it. I have to be patient with my work, and my life, and the working out thing so I thought it would fit.

Gotta be somebody

2008-11-06T23:38:00.000-08:00

Today was a wonderful day. Worked out, tanning, then home to do laundry and hang out with my dog while my parents go to the UTES game. (BTW utes won so still only one undefeated team in utah.) As soon as they scored the winning touchdown I get a phone call from that David kid in Korea. YA he is going to be able to contact me more there, So I wont be so completely obsessed with him on my blog when I dont get to talk. This will help.
WELL my workout plan is going well so far since i started on tuesday. I should be on track for tomorrow and on saturday I will go right after work, and NO pasta from the B.O Just some salad. (rabbit food) I am going to try and wake up early to go running but I dunno if I am gonna make it EARLY early, just like 12 or 1 in the afternoon or something. PURTY exciting day.
So This picture is to show that the UTES is Where it is at B*tches!
10 and 0 for their season so far. I have faith that they can keep this up! LIKE HELL YES they can. =)
Just pray for them.

Gotta be somebody by nickelback is from their newest album. Listen to it... love it. I know you will

sitting, waiting, wishing

2008-11-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

It was so lovely not having to work Tuesday, but I think I need work. It keeps my mind busy and sane. HA. I did get some stuff done though, including go to cafe rio, which is always amazing, but yesterday the guy doing the beginning part of my order was "ein Dumkopf." When I said Pork Burrito he said "oh hungry are we?" I just said ... "yeah" He asked black or pinto beans I said both. He asked again. I said both. Then Proceeded to put only one of them in, black if you must know. Then he said Mild Medium or Hot. I said HOT. He put Mild in, and looked at me. I said HOT! and THEN he put in HOT sauce. Like I didnt even notice him doing it. Then he says Enchlada style? I said YES he said NO SAUCE? I said NO I WANT..... he cut me off, put cheese on it and put it in the oven thingy. I was in shock. Was he deaf? Im not 100 percent sure. He got my friends order right, so maybe he just hated me. (who knows) Didnt taste bad or anything, I just like it MY WAY.
Im very used to having things MY way, because being an only child gives a lot of room for just my way. Which is how I like it. I feel bad for my future husband. He is gonna have to put up with me. But I think he'll be ok. (lets pray for that.)
I have been thinking of going to another church again sunday. I went to a Presbyterian church a couple sundays ago, and I LOVED it. Maybe it was the bag pipes playing, Or it was just the talk the pastor gave. I felt like I had an actual spiritual moment. Which is rare and far between when I actually have those.
I am so excited to hear from Dave, Soon hopefully. I have not recieved a call yet, but I should be I hope. Im prayin for that too. But Not too much longer until I can talk to him on the computer again, and Febuary is not too far away either! eeek :)
I miss my momma and my dad. I thought I would just LOVE living on my own, and dont get me wrong I love the freedome and the being responsible for myself, but I love having them as my company. They always make me laugh and keep me entertained for the most part. Im gonna go visit my mommy tomorrow morning before she takes off for the UTES game!!!
I am hopin and wishin that the UTES win this game (oh please oh please) I cannot take the ridicule from work if they loose. When BYU already lost to the team they are going to be playing(hehe) I still think it is so funny their quest is over.
Back to my parents. They look pretty young ay? They're hot. I have some good genes for me when I get old. Bwahahaha. Hmm notice any resemblence, because I dont see how I am related. Look at that blondie with the burnettes, I am definetally fed ex.
I am still waiting. Patiently for my life to start, I think febuary will give me an idea on where to begin! ;)

sitting waiting wishing by jack johnson is an AMAZING song. This particular song relates to the fact that I am waiting for my life to finally start and a phone call.

Your call

2008-11-03T23:35:00.000-08:00

Waiting for your call I'm sick, call I'm angry, call I'm desperate for your voice.
I had work today (oh joy) Love the monday night free rootbeer let me tell you. (BLEH) that was me vomiting. HAHA It sucked it was super busy and I barley made 10 bucks an hour... more like 8 or 9 bucks an hour. It is still really good, but lately on mondays I have been making more then 100 bucks a night which is AWESOME! No big deal though I will have better days obviously, and sometimes worse days. People are just annoying. I am getting so burnt out from work. OH so where I was going with this blog is I get to work at 4 and get a phone call at 5 but it was just my momma, so I ignored it because I was working. The next vibration was from a text that says "answer your phone it's dave" so I freaked, I had several theorys. A: Something bad happened and his mom called my mom and she wanted to tell me right then. B: Dave some reason had my dads phone (not likely) or something along those lines like they could transfer a call (even though I dont think that is possible) Anyways I went downstairs to the "bathroom" to call my mom back , and she said Dave called her house, looking for me, and then asked for my number. SO time for the waiting game. I am hoping for some kind of contact tonight, well desperatly PRAYING for some kind of contact. Would that not just be the most amazing thing to happen today. I miss that bugger. I would love to just talk to him for at least a minute. I am so happy to know he is thinking of me though. Even if he DID forget my phone number, but he has more important things going on obviously.
I miss him so much it hurts. I just want to see him. Talk, just about anything. I can't take this distance anymore. I wish he could just hear my thoughts and call me!
"I just want my phone call" the joker from the Dark Knight
I am excited for tomorrow NO SERVITUTE! YAY i hate my job! =D
Ha ha no I don't hate it but when you work EVERY stinkin day, you become very very very burnt out of stupid people that come in. I could literally write a book on things that people do that irritate me, funny things they say, stupid things they say, funny things they do, stupid things they do, how I dislike when they shake their glass at me to show its empty, how they ask for straws, when they tell you how to do your job, when they say they know how things on the menu are supposed to work and I obviously havnt worked at the B.O. Long enough. HAHA like I said I could go on and on and ON. I wont bore you to death with my blog though.
I was thinking today. Febuary isnt too far away (crap) I want to look dead sexy when that particular month rolls around (no reason :) :) :) I am wanting to loose 10 lbs. So tomorrow is going to be the start of my work out plan and sligtly altered diet. Trust me I am going to be eating whatever I want but in much smaller portions, and I will no longer drink caffine, or other gross sugary drinks. Im sticking to this, this time. I need to.
Semper
Your call by Secondhand Serenade. I love love LOVE secondhand serenade, one of my favorite bands. This particual song is me um... waiting for... his ... call.... SOON!!!!
Im praying that I will get one, Im desperate for his voice!

You might have noticed

2008-11-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, I have made a new blog. I couldn't figure out how to fix my old blog to make it look cute (as it finally is.) So Welcome to my new blog! I am so excited about the first post today. I have some exciting news about my day today. I picked up a couple letters from Dave's friends/my friends, that I am sending to him. I am so excited to send it to him, because I think that will make his day. (as soon as he gets it in like 2 weeks!) I went to visit my fam today. First my grandparents, because my grandpa had surgery on his knee caps for artheritis. He wasn't doin so well :( Makes me sad to see him like that.

I went and picked up a letter from Miker and from Quotah. Then I hung out with my mommy and daddy. I miss hanging out with them just on sundays. I regret ever wanted to leave and not hang out with them when I lived there. I miss just bein around them.
So anyways NEW BLOG. I am really sad about my old one but I couldn't figure out a way to fix it to normal even I messed with the settings and I couldn't do anything but make the background white. So there you go!

Latest news from Dave: He is heading for Korea unless he is already there. He will be there for like 27 days or so, and then he will go back to Japan until January then he supposibly will be back in Camp Pendelton and then in Febuary he will be HOME for 3 weeks. =D
I had a good meeting with my roommates today. I am hoping this will help a lot. Because I am not liking being moved out. I am just lonely, miserable, and grossed out by being in my apartment. I do not even approve of people being in our apartment because it is so nasty. I am embarressed! So I am hoping this will be better.
Halloween came and went so fast it was crazy that Halloween is already over! I have some great pictures of me and a couple of my room mates and some people from work.
I will be continueing how I had my older blog and stick with a song that relates to my feelings for the day. Today the song you might have noticed is by the academy is.. They're an awesome band I belive you should check them out if you havent. The song title should be self explanitory the fact that I erased my old blog and made a new one is the you might have noticed. Hope you continue to read!