Breaking the habit.

I find myself much more lazy than I should be. I really need to be more active. Especially cause I am going to Moab this April and I want to be able to hike without getting tired and sore before everyone else. I absolutly LOVE hiking and seeing all this stuff but my body is in some horrible shape and gets very tired quickly. I do not want this to happen anymore. I am very excited for Moab. Its one of my favorite places, especially seeing the cool arches. Last time we went I didn't see Delicate Arch. I need to see that one this next time I go.
It is almost my birthday. Well actually I celebrate the whole month as my birthday, hehe but the 8th of march was the actual date of birth. I was premature and I was like the size of a magazine when I was born. I only weighed 4 and some odd ounces. I was a tiny little thing. Look at the big kid I am now :) I will be 20 years old, and no longer a teenager. Kind of crazy to think about that I have been alive for 20 years. I am gonna be thinking that again as soon as I turn 30. Woah that will be crazy. I am pretty excited though I enjoy having a family party like we always do. And my parents are going to take me out to dinner... YUM.
Another little thing I am excited about is flying to San Diego to see my David. It will probably be the weekend after my birthday, and I hope everything works out. I mean no one really know's cause his job is kind of unpredictable. But hopefully. Hope for the best expect the worse right?
Only a few more months til I can move out =D I know that's horrible of me to think cause this has been a fun experience and I like setting my own rules and doing things my own way and paying for myself. But I just want to go home now. I am so ready to hang out with my parents, who actually like me and help with keeping the house clean and doing stuff like that. They're pretty nice people, so I am excited.
Anyways I hope that I will be able to stay active, I will be working out at least 3 times a week ... at the least. I will break this habit :)

Breaking the habit by linkin park. I really like this band and pretty self explanitory

Weak and Powerless

Tillin my own grave to keep me level. Jam another dragon down the hole.
So weak and powerless, over you.

I have been having trouble with my laptop lately, like it tries to block certain websites, like myspace. Except that I don't want it blocked. Well it is also trying to block hotmail and I have to check my email so I unblock it, NOW it is blocking my msn messenger. I can't figure out how to unblock that though. So currently do not have messenger. The only reason I use it is to talk to Dave and he has a phone now, so I won't worry too much, but still GRR it blows.
I saw confessions of a shopaholic tonight with Denise. I spilled popcorn on her, and MOVIES ARE EXPENSIVE. BLAH!!! I am just going to buy a movie for 15 bucks instead of watching it one time in a theater for like 8 or 9 bucks. What is the world coming to if movies one time are 8.75$ That's just craziness.
I never said what I got for valentines day. NOT that valentines day is really a big deal, personally I can show how much I love someone any day of the week, or month, or year. So it's just a waste of a holiday. HOWEVER, I got some gourmet pop corn from the grandparents, an Itunes card from my mother, which I plan on buying a movie with it. OH and a promise ring from David. It was a pretty good day. But like I said, that stuff could have happened any other day and it would have been just the same.
I really miss that boy. I feel like I am a broken record that keeps saying it over and over and over, but I feel so alone. The day he left I watched him drive away. It was the hardest thing I ever had to endure. It hurts my heart to just think about it. I miss talking to him, snuggles, kisses, etc. I know I gotta be strong and try not to let it affect me. But it is really hard, he is one of my best good friends, and while he was home it felt... good. NO not good, GREAT. Everything fit where it was supposed to and I have never been happier. Now that he is gone, that piece of me is missing and I don't feel whole anymore.
I hope I get to go out there soon like ... may or june... something around there. I really want to see him again soon.
I also realized that I don't have many girl friends. I am gonna go into UVU again soon, and get going on some financial aid junk, to get back into school for the fall semester. I am going to work all summer to save some cash, and when fall comes I will be a full time student again, with a part time job. Only 2 shifts or so a week. I am really looking forward to that and getting back into some sort of a structure for my life. Which I have been lacking in. When I don't have structure I just make bad decisions... something like that. I just miss school actually. YA I KNOW I am crazy. Back in high school I would start a countdown to school like a month and a half early. (hehe) YEAH I am slightly nerd like, but I'm good looking so it's ok.
Here is something you probably didn't know about me. I watch Shrek more than any other movie ever. I mostly watch Shrek when I am sad, upset, lonely, or just in some crummy mood. It makes me happy to watch. Dragon is my favorite of course. But I have been watching it once every night since monday. I think this will be a nightly ritual for a couple more weeks. We will see.

weak and powerless by APC. A perfect circle is one of my favorite bands, and this song sort of discribes how I am feeling lately.

wish you were here

Dave left yesterday =(
It was a really sad day and i had to work that night which was really good cause I had something to do. I did go to lunch with Kayla, I called her sad. Then we went to the mall. I got off work really sad and i was leaking a little....well lot. And then it happened, I slammed my pointer finger in the car door... I pulled and it wouldn't come out I had to find my keys and unlock my car to get my finger out of the door. I was really really sad. It hurt. Now I have a cold.
It's offical this week sucks.

wish you were here by pink floyd
I wish david was here. I miss him :(

Making memories of us

IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR DID YOU...

1. Did you date someone from your school? yes all sophomore year and all senior year with one person. 2 different people. I wish I would have dated more.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? Not yet.

3.Did you car pool to school? Sophomore year Zac would pick me up with Colby or Colby would pick me up. Until I got a boyfriend

4.What kind of car did you have? I have a 99 ford escort still :) I love jennifer.

5.What kind of car do you have now? Same one she's been a good lil car.

6. Its Saturday night now you're...... working...

7. It is Saturday night then you're..... homework, working or i had a boyfriend

8.What kind of job did you have in high school? I worked at Dominos Pizza. I loved working there

9. What kind of job do you do now? I'm a server at Brick Oven. Can't escape the pizza

10.Were you a party animal? ...yeah not really

11. Were you considered a flirt? YES i was

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? None. I tried not to go to school a lot... and i danced.

13.Were you a nerd? no I did everything in my power to not get strait A's

14.Did you get suspended or expelled? I got in school suspension one time. But the other kid deserved what he got.

15.Can you sing the fight song? um NOPE. I didn't have much school spirit.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Ms. Griffen. She is my idol.

17.Where did you sit during lunch? I never ate in the lunch room. I always went somewhere else

18.What was your school's full name? Spanish Fork High School

19.When did you graduate? 2007

20.What was your school mascot? The Dons. If you don't know what a don is.... well it's like Zorro so it's BAD ASS

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? YES, Life was so simple back then I would re do everything.

22.Did you have fun at Prom? haha from what I remember it was a grand ole time.

23.Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? Um... nope, it's complicated.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? YES i need to be the best looking there.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? YEAH!

26.School Colors? Red Grey and White

27.What celebrities came from your high school? umm... let me think ... ME

Now, I tag....

Megan, Sam, Janelle, Jon, Janna, Mari, Kristen, and BETHIE.

Making memories of us by Keith urban.
As much as I dislike country, this particular song really does bring back memories, some good some bad, but all in all they were memories I'll never forget.

So Close.

I never expected to be where I am. Until I got here.
I am so happy with my life, and how everything is going in my world. All because of him. Well MOSTLY. I am very happy with how my life is... now just to get into school again. THIS FALL! I also would like everyone to know we as in our apartment passed cleaning checks. (thankyouverymuch) I would also like everyone to know the christmas tree is STILL UP!!! SOMEONE said it would be gone by thursday... well thursday has come and gone and its still here. :) I guess all I can do is smile and burn it down, but my room is clean and I am not leaving my window open in the winter time anymore. I get the sniffles :(
I need to start running again....
anyways David leaves this monday :( boo. So if you are my friend don't bring it up on monday I will still be sad. Just talk to me about other random things. Or buy me a cookie =D JUSSST KIDDDDDING.
Although Abbie DID share her cookie dough and it was AMAZING. Brickoven has cookies that are huge gynormous and they taste delicious, and they are now selling cookie dough. AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
I can't wait to move home with my mom. She for valentines day is going up to the utes basketball game. I hope that it isn't too snowy to drive up there, because my father took off to San Fran for the week to do some work up there, and my mom is all alone. (its her fault for only having one child) I still have gone to visit her the last couple of days. I don't want her to be too lonely. But for valentines she bought those tickets for her and my dad to go and then he said he was leaving and she was sad. My cousin MAK can go with but they can't if its too snowy to drive in. So I'm hoping for her happiness that she can go.
I love this kid... named david.

OK BYE

so close by jon mclaughlin. If you havn't heard this song you NEED TO. It kind of discribes how I feel like... riight, NOW.

Everything Changes

Hello friends.
I have changed my blog again. When I am feeling like in a rut and my life needs a change I can usually change something very inconspicuous and small and be okay. Today it was my blog. I am proud to say I took that picture on my blog. It's just a trail my dogs made by running on it for a real long time. Anyways. I am still vur vur happy. I am planning on burning down my roommates fake tree in our apartment. (because it is still up. you would want to too) I am going home today.


Everything Changes by Staind. I love this band, and this song says a little something about how I changed everything up.

shadow of the day..

Who hate's taxes? I hate taxes. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
I decided If I could have one super power I would want to read minds. I would like to know what people are really thinking when something is said to them. Or just anything at all. Maybe I'm just being a bit paranoid but I just wish I could read minds and figure out what people are really thinking. That's all

Shadow of the day by Linkin park. The shadow of the day is TAXES =(

Must have done something right

Must have done something right by relient K
cause I must have to have got so lucky... oh hell that was cheesy!