So weak and powerless, over you.
I have been having trouble with my laptop lately, like it tries to block certain websites, like myspace. Except that I don't want it blocked. Well it is also trying to block hotmail and I have to check my email so I unblock it, NOW it is blocking my msn messenger. I can't figure out how to unblock that though. So currently do not have messenger. The only reason I use it is to talk to Dave and he has a phone now, so I won't worry too much, but still GRR it blows.
I saw confessions of a shopaholic tonight with Denise. I spilled popcorn on her, and MOVIES ARE EXPENSIVE. BLAH!!! I am just going to buy a movie for 15 bucks instead of watching it one time in a theater for like 8 or 9 bucks. What is the world coming to if movies one time are 8.75$ That's just craziness.
I never said what I got for valentines day. NOT that valentines day is really a big deal, personally I can show how much I love someone any day of the week, or month, or year. So it's just a waste of a holiday. HOWEVER, I got some gourmet pop corn from the grandparents, an Itunes card from my mother, which I plan on buying a movie with it. OH and a promise ring from David. It was a pretty good day. But like I said, that stuff could have happened any other day and it would have been just the same.
I really miss that boy. I feel like I am a broken record that keeps saying it over and over and over, but I feel so alone. The day he left I watched him drive away. It was the hardest thing I ever had to endure. It hurts my heart to just think about it. I miss talking to him, snuggles, kisses, etc. I know I gotta be strong and try not to let it affect me. But it is really hard, he is one of my best good friends, and while he was home it felt... good. NO not good, GREAT. Everything fit where it was supposed to and I have never been happier. Now that he is gone, that piece of me is missing and I don't feel whole anymore.
I hope I get to go out there soon like ... may or june... something around there. I really want to see him again soon.
I also realized that I don't have many girl friends. I am gonna go into UVU again soon, and get going on some financial aid junk, to get back into school for the fall semester. I am going to work all summer to save some cash, and when fall comes I will be a full time student again, with a part time job. Only 2 shifts or so a week. I am really looking forward to that and getting back into some sort of a structure for my life. Which I have been lacking in. When I don't have structure I just make bad decisions... something like that. I just miss school actually. YA I KNOW I am crazy. Back in high school I would start a countdown to school like a month and a half early. (hehe) YEAH I am slightly nerd like, but I'm good looking so it's ok.
Here is something you probably didn't know about me. I watch Shrek more than any other movie ever. I mostly watch Shrek when I am sad, upset, lonely, or just in some crummy mood. It makes me happy to watch. Dragon is my favorite of course. But I have been watching it once every night since monday. I think this will be a nightly ritual for a couple more weeks. We will see.
weak and powerless by APC. A perfect circle is one of my favorite bands, and this song sort of discribes how I am feeling lately.
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