Remember to breath

DAVE IS HOME! AH it is awesome. I suppose I'll start at the beginning.
Tuesday seemed like a promising day enough riiight? Well I finished cleaning my room and headed out to go to my ONE YEAR mark free food lunch in for the BO. I was already anxious enough as it was cause he was coming home at 9 at night. I hardly ate then I get a phone call from DAVE. Naturally I am extatic I answer and he says HEYYYY I'm comin in at 6 instead of 9!!! ah YES PLEASE. I was more excited cause at the time it was like 3:30 when he called and that meant only 2 and a half hours instead of like 5 and a half. I rushed home... I dunno why. I just needed to do something with myself. I started laundry at my parents and rang sir jeffamus telling him how freaking amazing this news was and he was coming with me so I was just all around HAPPY. I found the airport all good and stuff. I AM 30 percent smarter since becoming a burnette. (hehe) Well I had to go around the stupid circle like 3 times cause I didnt know where to park and there is only one parking exit. (superweak) ANYWAYS I found it and JEFF got me lost saying the first terminal and junk. So then Mr griggs said I am at terminal dose. SO we had to figure out how to get to that terminal. WE found it and there were these obnoxiously SLOW people in front of me. ALL I WANTED WAS TO SEE MY DAVID. We started down the elevator and I SAW HIM. I wanted to jump off the elevator and run and tackle him. I didn't though I waited for the people in front of me to move their asses out of my way and I booked it to him! =D
I didn't take pictures, but I should have now that I think about it. It was kind of funny cause I practically ran him over trying to get a hug from him. (hehe) but all in all, we were so excited. Dave almost forgot Lord Jeffamus, I had to remind him... lol. NO BIG DEAL. I was just so happy to see him. I have never been a fan of public displays of affection, but I was all over this kid in the middle of an airport. Ya be jealous. I was so happy to have him home and snuggle! (I MISSED SNUGGLES FROM DAVE MOST OF ALL) We drove back to Spanish Fork, well Jeff and Jess drove us back to Spanish fork. I was too busy, snuggling...right right.
HA I still smile to myself thinking about it. Anyways we got to Dave's home cause we had to see his momma ya know? So we got there and his mom, Sue, sat there and stared at him for a second... she was in the other room and she was staring at him, guess she forgot who he was. 7 months is a real long time after all. She was real happy and they were making a welcome home sign for him but they were a bit behind on it, but they didn't know he was coming home early. NO BIG DEAL, nobody's perfect.

ANYWAYS I'm just real happy to have him home. And I hope that most of my friends can meet him while he is home.

remember to breath by dashboard confessional. I had to remind myself when I first saw him to do this.

Dont go away mad.

So I am a talker. I enjoy talking about myself, things going on, things that bug me, things I love, ya get it. I love to talk about myself. I like to think I am a very excellent listener as well. And if asked I will give my honest opinion. As long as I can stay friendly with whomever I am speaking to. Well I have one friend who I sometimes worry about but love none the less. And She LOVES to complain. And I am trying to be a good friend and be patient and happy when she's happy and upset with whoever did her wrong. But CMON! It has been like two months and the conversation drags on. I just got tired of the constant complaints and try to bring up positive things, (example: I say well I love ya girl. and SHE says at least someone does) I mean WTF am I supposed to say to that!? I am so done that I just walk away now. NOW that i'm so close, waiting all this time and just SOOO close she cant even pretend to be happy for me. NOT ONE BIT. I mean why not I mean I listen to her sad stories and try to help in any way possible why cant she just give me this. When I do say stuff that makes me happy she usually says, can you not talk about that in front of me cause I dont have anyone to love me. I just ask her why she cant be happy for me. Just one time. I dont think I get a word in edge wise when I talk to her either. UGH. Maybe I'm just tired of listening to complaining so I have to myself but, I just had to get it off my chest. WELL 2 more days!!!


dont go away mad by motley crue. That song has my favorite saying in it. "don't go away mad, just go away" I dont know why I put it. BUUUUT maybe

I do

Light up the sky

Unfortunately I missed the inauguration. I am not too concerned about that though. I personally have no views on who should be president. I can only hope that Obama does good with the time that he is given. I think that is all that any president can do. I would have to make a list of things that I do believe in, but that would be too long. I do believe though that people should make a vow. Little things, like "recycling" etc. I do not have something that big... I vow to smile at people I see. Since I'm a good looking person when a good looking person smiles at you, you think "gosh they're nice" (if they aren't good looking you are just wondering 'what do they want? creepy') Besides the point. A smile I think goes a long way. People in good moods are much more fun to be around then people who are not so happy. That's my resolution first of all and my vow. As a person.
Back to the president. I just hope he does good for what has been laid before him.
Other exciting news I ...well I'm just in a good mood lately. No reasons just happy as a clam. (whatever that is supposed to mean)
If you do not know why...well then you haven't seen me nearly enough and should probably call me or something.


Light up the sky by yellowcard. I think of this title as big fireworks and i was putting it because of the inauguration

the kids aren't alright

I worked at brickoven last night and got off around 12 ish.... talked to boyfriend for an hour or so after ... and just stayed up til 5 and went to American eagle. BLAH. I think that working at 6 in the morning should be considered illegal. And punishable by law. I havn't slept and I am so tired.
I found out something that I always SORT of knew but didn't really think it was that big of a deal... until today. I have OCD about stupid clothes and making things strait, even numbers, everything needs to be perfect. IM stupid. It took me from 6 in the morning to 1 in the afternoon to finish ONE table where half the others finished 3 in the time it took me to finish one. I couldn't just leave a stack of decently folded clothes alone. It was perfectly symmetrical, just right color coded and all back stocked properly. There were 9 stacks of t shirts that needed to be folded a certain way and have a size run of 3 in each stack. (3 extra smalls, 3 smalls, 3 mediums....get the picture?) Anyways I couldn't stop myself I tried to just hurry and throw shit together and finish it but... I stopped and re did the whole thing. It was a bloody nightmare for me. I have never been so anxious and nervous about something. It was a very strange feeling for me to have. I don't like it. I mean I knew that I was a bit obsessive about having things aligned and strait and even but I was just strait up out of control. People commented on it, they said the table looked great. I just felt slow, like mentally handicapped or something. OH well. No more floorsets for a while now I hope. I'm finally getting my hair re done back to a dark auburn and shorter... i like the short hair. SOOOO I'm keeping it like such.
P.S. I miss my mom and dad and my home and my big warm bed back in spanish fork sooo i'm off to visit... maybe fall asleep in my bed... for like... 20 minutes. Maybe visit the Griggs, ya know... just some normal sunday stuff.
Have a goooood sunday!!

the kids aren't alright by the offspring. I mostly just put that title because of how I was feeling.

six feet under the stars

SO I didnt work last night, which was nice but I babysat. That girl is OFF THE WALL crazy but she was fun to have around. Everyone in my apartment kept asking if it was my little sister. hehe. Anyways When her momma came to pick her up Abbie had a sweet new tie on... with STARS! And she mentioned to me how I got MINE TOO. FINALLY after a year I think I deserve them. So go Me. I am a bad ass employee NOW. haha. That does remind me I need new black work pants....crud. Well I'm gonna work the hell out of this tie.
PS its now down to single digets little more than a week left!!!


Six feet under the stars by All time low. I only picked this song because it has the word stars in it. YAY.

Crappy Love Ballad

Ok. So I know this sounds so cliche but HOW do you KNOW you are in LOVE with someone. Especially after ONLY a couple weeks. I don't see how there is ANY WAY that could happen. How can people get married after only knowing someone for a couple weeks. Let alone think about the L word. I have decided that LOVE is not a feeling, it's an ability. Love doesn't solve problems in a marriage, doesn't tie families together for all eternity. Love comes from other things. I was talking to this guy who I mostly think its just a TARD, but he made some very VERY good points about relationships. I cant remember all of the 5 points he made but I will give you the gist.
In a relationship you need social interaction, physical, and spiritual help. For example physical is obviously a LOT of things that no one really understood at first but i caught on. Love is physical, shelter is physical, caring, food, and like helping each other with house hold chores. Also Courtesy, I mean simple please and and thank you goes a long way. Spiritual I didn't quite understand where he was going with that... maybe you could figure out something for that? And Social interaction. It doesn't mean you have to go out with friends EVERY TIME. I mean you could just go the two of you and go to a movie... and I have a very strong belief in having your own friends that you can always go out and do something with.
And ya know what, if you can do all these things for one person for the rest of your life well good for you! I hope to accomplish all of this one day. I believe any relationship can work out. But why rush things. First of all if you jump in to the marriage boat too early, here are some questions you should ask your self
"what's he like around children" "how does he want to raise his/her children" What is he like when he is angy" "what is he like during normal hours of the day just at home hanging out" "What are his vices, and are they things that are going to irritate you" "whats his family like." There are so many things to ask yourself about this thing. Cause marriage isn't just some temporary thing (at least not for me, I want to be 100 percent sure before I accept anything.)
Also What is up with people who are all sorts of IN LOVE for about ... 20 seconds then move on to the next guy like they're going to get married. Like they have been engaged like 100 times since the day they turned 16? How does that even happen? Do you think they ever really loved anyone? Do they even love themselves? I guess I shouldn't worry about other people it was just something that I never understood. But I don't understand a lot about what people are capable of doing. Examples are killing, cheating, lieing, etc.
So the best I can do is be happy with what I am doing and hope for the best. I know what I feel and I will know when I am 100 percent ready.
I feel like I have grown up so much these last couple of months, to realize what a relationship is all about and what I could do to keep it in good shape. So far I think I'm doing a good job :)

Anyways, good luck to all of you with your relationships now and in the present. I hope that what I said has help show you just a smidgen of what I have learned

Crappy Love Ballad by Angels and Airwaves
I have just recently found this band and I really LOVE this song. You should check it OUT.

No other way

I cant believe that my seven month wait is almost over. I AM SO EXCITED.. =)
Only 15 more days til i can actually see him... thats pretty awesome I would have to say.
Besides that nothing really new here... I am getting my hair re dyed this next week so I dont look like an angry red head. working all mornings no nights.. (except monday and saturday) its when I have made the most so i'll keep those...until my 3 weeks are up then I will change back my availability. AND I have been working out a lot more. So I hope that'll make the endorphins go so I will be more constantly happy instead of constantly UN happy. Cause no one likes a unhappy person.
This wednesday I am going with some friends to A real nice Italian place at the gateway. Then to see Bridewars. (ps I already seen it.. but I will go see it again) shhhhh. HA, sorry girls. Anyways.
I was thinking about how long ago 7 months was... and how quickly its gone by. All those months ago saying I'll wait. WOW cant believe I actually did it! (go me)
I would have it no other way though = )

No other way by Jack Johnson. I just really like this song.

Time wont let me go

New Day, New year.
I never understood why people get all worked up over a new year, but I suppose its another day to have an excuse to drink and party. Anyways Pretty uneventful for me. I just worked and came home to hang out with my parents, and after the clock turned midnight we said hey... happy new year. Good NIGHT. But a new year is a good day for a FRESH START. I have a couple goals that I want to stick to, and we'll see how I do. I figure if I cant hold up in this first month well, there is no chance for it to happen the rest of the year! It takes 30 days to make a habit.
1- I will not say the word "HATE" anymore.
It's a strong word and I think not saying that word will help me stay positive.
2-If I buy something for myself I have to buy something for someone else.
I cant buy myself a new pair a jeans and someone else a pack of gum, it's gotta be of equal or greater value. Maybe this will stop my shopping habit for good.
3-Be active.
I don't want to be the fat girlfriend, or well fat at all! I need to stay active to do all the things that I want to do. I think it'll just keep me happy anyways.
4-No More SODA.
I was trying so hard to not drink it, but its a hard habit to break. Starting today NO MORE SODA EVER!
5-Be a better friend.
I just want to be a person that people can talk to about anything. I want to be a good listener and help out anyway that I can.
6-Be a better employee.
As much as I hate my job, it's good money for now and a good job for school. I will try and be better about not being hateful about being there. People are jerks I know this, I need to just get over it.
7- Be nicer in the morning times.
Its not everyone elses fault that I stayed up late and had to wake up early. I just need to be nicer to the people who just happen to be in my way.
8- Do something good for me.
Wether it is just a gym trip, manicure, facial, back massages, I need a stress reliever. I will get a gym pass and start going to a dance class once a month or something. I love it and I think that it will be the best thing for me.

Well that is all I got so far. I think that I could keep going but this is gonna be more than I can handle anyways.

Time wont let me go by The bravery. Time never stops it keeps going and you just gotta roll with it.